YOU•JJK

<17> Tired

"I'm tired"

₸

I blow into my palms to keep myself warm, as I walk slowly towards the exit of the dorm. I didn't even know why I was doing it, maybe I was just stupid.

But it's weird how weak I am for someone. I can never say no to him, and it's annoying. It makes me feel useless, yet I do it, and even though I'm protesting, I know that some part of me wanted to do it.

That's why I'm here waiting for Jungkook to turn up.

He asked me how Tori was, and I didn't reply. I guess he understood that I was ignoring him, for which he send me another text.

Kook13: Can we atleast meet up?

                  It's important

And I obliged like a fool I am.

I knew he'd be bombarding me with questions about Tori, and today I was happy that he won't get his answers. Boy needed to talk when he's in a relationship.

Hearing the sound of boots, I turn around, my eyes falling on his familiar figure. He wore an oversized loose shirt, with a white tee underneath, loose pants and boots.

"Hey," He starts, attempting to smile, but I stared back blankly. His smile dropped seeing my reaction, and his eyes awkwardly moved around us, before he looked back at me and waved his hands towards the bench near the exit.

I turned around, securing my seat at one end of it, staring at my own slippers.

He sat beside me, looking at me numerous times. I wondered if I looked like I wanted to kill anyone.

"So...." He started and I interrupted,"I don't know how Tori is."

He looked taken aback by my interruption, blinking a little before he stuttered out,"W-Why?"

I scoffed,"Shouldn't you know?"

He stared at me, and now I felt that he was scared. This made me want to laugh. I should be the one who's scared, scared to be hurt, and scared to do something wrong. And he's the reason for that.

"I," He looked down,"I don't know."

I rolled my eyes to look away from him. He knew it very well, he didn't want to accept this. Nobody wants to be the bad guy.

I wanted to tell him what was bugging me. I wanted HIM to stop bugging me.

"I wanted to-" I start to speak but he cut me off,"My dad is in critical condition. He needs some high expense surgery, and neither me nor my mom am able to manage to get that money. I can't get a job now, it's already too hectic. We tried to get help from our relatives, tried to get loans, yet it wasn't enough. So, I asked Tori for money."

My eyes widened at him,"W-What? But I thought you were rich?"

He looked at me,"What made you think that?"

I blinked at him,"That gift you gave Tori?"

He looked down, his ears turning red as if he's embarassed,"It was from my whole year's savings."

So, that's what it feels to be loved by him. That's what it feels to be in love. My heart cinched a little at the thought.

"Then what happened?" I asked, leaning back on the bench. 

"She doesn't know about my dad, and she refused."

"Why didn't you tell her then?" 

"I didn't want to worry her."

"And you're telling me?"

He looked away, his fingers fumbling together,"You're cool and level-headed, unlike Tori. She'll freak out."

 I nodded, that was true.

"Well, if you don't tell her then how do you expect her to give you money."

He scoffed,"We are together for two years, and the one time I did ask for something, she refused. What would you think then?"

I looked away, he was kind of right. But I understood Tori too, money doesn't grow on trees.

"You can try to break it to her, otherwise there's no other way it'll be solved."

His hands went to his face,"I don't think we'd be talking anytime soon."

I squint my eyes at him,"What'd you do?"

He looked down, his hands dropping to rest on his knees,"I said some wrong things to her, I hurt her a lot."

I sighed at his response, my mind suddenly being unable to formulate a proper sentence.

I didn't know if I should even say something. This wasn't something I myself should worry about, yet I felt this need to fix everything. I had a connection with both of them, something that I refused to explain now, even though I knew that this was not something a best friend did.

I looked at him, as I try to break it to him slow, because he needed to know that,"You should talk to her, that's all I can say. Doesn't matter what you did or what she did, you guys need to be there for yourself. Explain it to her, without losing your mind or forcing her to lose hers."

He straightened up and I immediately got what was coming,"Can't you talk - "

"No. I'm just her best friend, not a relationship adviser for you guys."

Standing up, I shove my hands into my jacket's pocket, huffing as I looked at him,"Don't bring me in between you guys again. Leave me out of your problems, your arguements, everything. I'll be there as a moral support, nothing else. Man up and fix yourself, talk to her, and work yourself  to keep your relationship steady. I'm not the one to do that, and you know it. You know what I'm gonna do if you approach me about you guys again."

He looked down, not meeting eyes, fiddling with his fingers.

I left a soft breath, as I took a final look at him, before turning around and walking back into the words, when I heard him whisper,"You didn't have to be so harsh."

The ends of my lip tilted up hearing him, it felt like he was mocking me with those words, but I didn't say anything. It was of no use, because he didn't even understand himself, how would he even understand me?

I walked inside the dorm, my hand pulling out my phone before I started playing "Want you Back".

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I had my exams. More updates coming soon <33