YOU•JJK

<24>Unreal

'That fearless thrill returns once the pain subsides'

₸

"Are you really sure they're gonna be okay?"

"Jinah, this is the 10th time I'm saying it, they're gonna be okay. Plus, the other students are there," Jungkook sighed, exasperately as he looked at me. I frowned, looking down at my feet as we walked back to the hotel.

"Still," I sighed out, at the end,"They don't give me good vibes. Especially that Jimin guy."

Jungkook stayed silent. The only thing that was heard was the scrunching of our boots as we walked. The road was silent and dark, and Jungkook being beside me helped.

"I just don't wanna worry anymore," Hearing him confess, I look at him,"What?"

"You know, I really envied you before. You were so carefree, didn't take shit from others. You were confident in your own little world and noone ever entered that world of yours," There was a small smile on his lips, as he explained,"You didn't live your life to be the best version of someone's expectations."

I listened to him, my cheeks heating up a little. He was really complimenting me for being a rude bitch.

"I wanted to be like that. I wanted to be the best me not the best of someone else," He emphasized, his brows crinkling to show his frustration," I wanted to have what you had. I truly disliked you."

Ignoring the slight hit at my heart, I manage to smile,"W-wow, is that the same for now?"

I stared at Jungkook, my hands balling up the end of my shirt , almost pleading him to say no. Jungkook looked up, before he turned his face towards me, a serene smile on his lips,"No."

It felt like my heart was a free horse which was allowed to run in a big green meadow,"Oh that's great then."

"I saw how much you cared for Tori. You were there as a friend, and I understood how hard it must've been for you without her," He continued, his brown locks hitting his forehead slightly,"I understood that you made yourself like that, you had that confidence and trust in yourself. I just hoped I'll be able to get something like that one day."

I kept staring at him as he said those words. If only he knew - if only he knew how much I pained every day, how much I cried, how much I couldn't make myself to get hold of my heart. If only he knew.

I didn't notice that I had stopped walking, until Jungkook turned around and his eyes met mine,"What? Come on!"

Taking a deep breath, I sighed,"Jungkook, it may look like that. But I'm not the best person, I don't know how to embrace my flaws, I try to get over them, ignore them, keep on hoping that they'll be fixed themselves and lose that hope when they don't. I don't like what I am."

There was a moment of silence, as we looked into each other's eyes. Before, Jungkook broke into a toothy smile,"I know. I don't know everything, but this is how I see you. You'd be that for me right?"

I pushed my lips down,"No."

He laughed,"See? This is what I mean. You don't change yourself, you're you and that's it."

And that's why I'm never the one for you.

It's never me.

But I didn't say it out loud.

Humming in response, I catch up to him,"Still I hope you never be me."

"Well too bad, we don't hope for the same thing."