limbo and coffee

26: lost bubbles

Jace's

When Jace woke up earlier than usual, he felt a warm body enveloped in his warmth. The alpha's forehead touching his neck as he breathes calmly against his chest. Ourie's hands are touching both their stomachs, hiding them to keep them warm. Their legs are entangled with each other, uncaring to each other's hairy legs. Fuck that, that doesn't matter.

Ourie's hair's tickling his chin so he pulled away slightly, Jace's arms tightening on his body as Jace figured out what to say. Or do. Because last night, he loved that dream so much, he didn't wait for himself to fall asleep and just laid beside Ourie.

He can remember Ourie's eyes widening in panic, his body hesitant and tensed. But Jace didn't care. He held him close and soothed Ourie's back with lazy circles until the tension left its host and he relaxed. Their limbs fight for dominance and Jace won, successfully kicking him back when Ourie tried to kick him away lightly so he'll leave.

Jace didn't leave. Ourie's glad he didn't.

Then Jace felt the hole in the middle of his chest, screaming for attention. He stared at the wall behind Ourie. He had no idea what to do. He was fine having a linear and boring life. It was easier to plan ahead and not improvise. It was better to do projects right after it was announced. It was better to be just simple and not think too much about things.

He hadn't read his letter yet. He didn't want to. It felt like a final goodbye he wouldn't want to accept. He's tortured enough by all this happening and he knows, the hole in his chest would be bigger and he would feel more pain if he did. This is killing him.

Ourie has done something wrong. And he's not defending him. It's obvious he did want to right the wrong and he stopped pursuing Jace, afraid to ruin his life, too, but...fuck this. It's unfair.

Ourie's the only reason why this hell hole doesn't seem hellish. He was almost strangled to death and he could be living with nightmares and panic attacks now, afraid to sleep but no, he isn't. Ourie's presence made everything better and he refused to just let this all go.

Selfish or whatever, he refused to feel nothing anymore. He refused to let his life be linear and boring anymore. Ourie's not fucking allowed to just enter his life, imprint itself on his being, and just leave just because he wants to fix his own life. No. He won't allow this.

"Ourie." Ourie was startled awake by that familiar but urgent voice. He looked up and he short-circuited after a few seconds, realizing the state they're in. He was about to pull away when Jace hugged him tighter. Then Jace switched their position, the omega resting his forehead against Ourie's chest who was frozen in the spot.

"Listen to me." Ourie stared at the window above their bed and he wondered why the sun doesn't seem so bright yet he feels so warm. "I didn't agree to you leaving me. No, you're not allowed to leave me just to right whatever wrong you did." Ourie's eyes are saucer-like with his mouth agape.

"I don't care if you're guilty, if you did it deliberately or your instincts took over." His fingers scratched lightly on Ourie's shirt, pulling his shirt closer as a poor attempt to hug the alpha closer than he already is. "I don't care if we met in the wrong place or at the wrong time. You'll just leave me when you stop liking me. Otherwise, you can't." His words were firm, almost a command and Ourie's mind kept thinking of excuses.

He doesn't want Jace to get into this mess he made. He doesn't want his life ruined because of what he did. Jace deserves so much better and it isn't him. He should stop. Ourie felt his throat going dry but he swallowed. "Jace, I can't. I've already decided." He pushed Jace away as Ourie caught sight of Jace's panicked eyes when he did that. Ourie quickly sat up, looking away. "I'm sorry, Jace."