Cupcake (l.s.)

ten

"niall wake up baby please." zayn whispers, as he sits on nialls bed rubbing his stomach lightly to wake him up. niall pretends to still be asleep ignoring his babas quite calls. zayn sighs removing his hand from nialls stomach getting up from the bed and shutting the door. niall sits up in bed spitting the pacifier out of his mouth and throwing to the end of the bed. he pulls his legs to his chest resting his head on them.

he knows what he did too harry was mean but he just couldn't help it he didn't know what got in the way. hes just so mentally confused and exhausted. his daddies always ask him to share his thoughts and talk through his emotions but he struggles with opening up. he's been this way ever since he met them three years ago. he can feel it getting worse.

niall was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder also know as ocd and anxiety. he first found out when he moved with liam and zayn. both of the elders figured this out when they noticed nialls strange habits.

liam was the first to ask niall about it after he noticed that niall had a habit of doing everything in fours. "i don't know if i don't do then the thoughts get mad, please don't think i'm weird i'm sorry." niall rambled out, nervously picking at his fingers. "it's alright baby don't be nervous i understand now are you ready to eat dinner?" liam asks, changing the subject not wanting to get niall worked up. niall of course shakes his head 'yes' not being the one to deny food.

niall stops daydreaming as he hears liam open the door and walk in. "hey baby you're up are you little today?" "i-i'm not i'm sorry." niall apologizes, picking his fingers as the thoughts once again scream threats at him. he tries to shake them away but it didn't work so he just chose to stay quite feeling guilty for not being little today. "it's alright baby no need to apologize are you ready to have breakfast?" liam asks, still standing in the doorway. niall shakes his head 'yes' getting up and grabbing liams hand.

they walk down the set of stairs hand in hand. niall tries his best to not tug at his hair and burst out in tears. his body and mind is so exhausted and the thoughts just won't stop. he exhales as they reach the bottom of the staircase liam let's go of his hand.

niall sits in his chair where his high chair usually is. zayn sets down the bowl of oatmeal and chocolate milk. niall thanks him adding three spoons of sugar and a half one. he stirs it in making sure the spoon clanks against the side of the bowl a few times. he then sips his milk beginning to eat his oatmeal.

four bites and a sip of milk. four bites and a sip of milk. niall repeats the mantra in his head until the bowl and cup of milk is gone. don't drink the syrup or else liam will get sick. set the cup down but not right there you never set it there. tap the dirty spoon on the dirty bowl four times then place it in the sink. now place the cup in the sink and rinse it out. pour out the dirty water rinse until it's clean. again do it again, again, and again.

niall finishes doing this and he goes to find liam so he could talk to him and get his medication. if you don't find liam he will be mad. if you don't find liam he will be mad. the thoughts repeat and niall groans walking a bit faster to go find his daddy. niall exhales when he sees his daddy in his room getting dressed on their big fluffy bed. "daddy." niall quietly sobs hes just so exhausted he sees why he's never big it hurts. "oh boo come here." liam says, pulling niall to his chest cradling him.

niall continues to sob as the thoughts continue to beat him up. he brings his hands to his hair tugging on his hair violently as he sobs. liam untangles his fingers from the blondies hair. kissing his hands and head lightly. he holds his hands in his lap. niall groans as he cries harder he can feel the tears turn into anxiety he hates when this happens.

he tries to calm himself down but it just turns into more tears and hyperventilating. liam slowly rocks the younger boy back and forth as he rubs his back. niall tries his best to focus on liam's movements and words.