Kidnapped (1-2)

|Stigmatized, Disgraced|

🎶Noelle Johnson - Beoken🎶

Chapter 13: Stigmatized, Disgraced

McCarthy was incredibly cunning.

There was no wonder he managed to escape his wrongdoings without facing any serous consequences.

Though his final one was an exception - for which he had to pay with his own life. But even through dying, he smartly managed to pull out his final missions with victory.

The pain and sufferings that he couldn't inflict on Dad during his lifetime; he made sure to make me - his son - pay for it through my entire lifetime.

That's why even when it's New Year's Eve, or the 10th anniversary of my hard work - or the 'Businessman Of The Year' award giving ceremony where I was nominted - I couldn't feel any of it. When everyone congratulated me and praised me for winning the award simultaneously for two years, I couldn't put down the masked smile and put on a genuine smile and enjoy it all.

Wasn't this what I worked hard for? Money, fame and respect? Weren't these the things I had wanted, I deserved? And now that all of them are here, why can't I claim them my own?

Because you don't deserve these at all.

My inner conscience spat at me.

Those were like uninvited guests - I have to let them in, but I truly can't let them in my life.

That's why it's so hard to gain all of them together. You have to lose in order to gain - give and take - that has always been the number one rule of this materialistic worldly life.

Nothing comes for free.

I had to lose my innocence and pure sanity in order to achieve money, fame and respect.

When the golden trophy of the 'Businessman Of The Year' was handed to me by Bill Gates - whom I had been wanting to meet since childhood - I barely felt anything. When the media reporters engulfed me with their flashing cameras and microphones, I just stood there with the smile I had plastered on my face, feeling nothing like a plastic toy - who was being played, loved and adored by millions of people - indifferent to what it might be going through.

Asher along with some other hired bodyguards finally came and fetched me from the crowd and made our way to our ride. I called shotgun silently and Asher quickly drove us out of the human maze into the wide and empty highways of Alfourne.

It's been weeks since the the anniversary ceremony was held.

The golden trophy - with my name carved at its feet - sat regally on the rear seat, bearing no meaning for me. For a moment I wanted to roll down the window and throw it out with my utmost effort so that it could shatter down into millions of lost pieces in front of my eyes, but I knew I couldn't. I couldn't claim anything my own since then.

Asher's sigh broke my thoughts.

"I don't understand this John, why do you look so gloomy after every happy occasion? You made this exact same face when we were here last time."

I kept staring out the window and mumbled ,"I hate crowded areas." It was the phrase I had been practicing to lie to everyone who found me in these similar situations.

"I get it, alright, but you just won the award of 'Businessman Of The Year' for your success. You should be at least happy about it."

Success with regrets.

I internally scoffed.

"I was just feeling tired, sorry." Every lie was costing me my all, so I mumbled a true sorry in the end.

"It's okay, you don't have to be sorry about this." His words were mustered with a small smile, showing that he wasn't angry or annoyed at my zero reactions. I felt huge pangs in my heart every time I lied to him - to my best friend - who had been supporting me in every decision I had ever taken and will be taking.

How could I do this to him? How am I still doing this to him? How much more selfish will I be?

.

It was almost 10 pm when we reached our hotel.

We parted our ways to our rooms from there. The ugly trophy was sitting in my hands, which I was really wishing to throw away in the bin. I used to want this - love this - but now, it's like a noose around my neck, ready to strangle me at any moment. It's like another haunting piece added to my life - another set of eyes that will be eyeing me everyday with shame and disgust.

I am a stigmatized human, a disgraced soul.

And I hate myself for being it.

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This is NOT a filler chapter guys. Just remember, it's always the darkest before dawn😉.

Aaand yeah sorry for not updating yesterday. But I still managed to do it today, so let's be happy. The next week is gon' be a beautiful blast😉😉😉. So let's just hold on for another couple of days. And I won't delay this time, 'cause I love you and John!

Well... a vote won't hurt your fingers, right?

💕