Always You

CHAPTER 33

From that night I didn't have the possibility to talk to Draco.

Christmas break started and Ron asked me, Harry and Hermione to come with him and Ginny to the Burrow, and we accepted, even if I wasn't sure at all.

I didn't talk about anyone about what happened with Draco, and for all holidays I didn't speak so much. I just wasn't in the mood.

I thought about Draco all the time, and I just wanted to come back to Hogwarts to see him. I was really sorry for my friends because I did want to spend Christmas with them, but I couldn't stop thinking about him.

When we came back at Hogwarts, I didn't meet Draco for weeks, it seemed that he was disappeared, but I knew he was in the castle.

I didn't try to take Harry's map, because I didn't have the same opportunities, so I decided that I waited until he looked for me, I didn't want to stress him, or anything.

It was already March, all that time since the Christmas break, I tried to distract myself, and I passed the days studying with Hermione, Ron and Harry.

That Monday I was coming back to the Gryffindor common room, I had just finished to study, and I was going to leave my books in the dorm.

I entered the room, and the first thing I saw, was a letter on my bed. I didn't expect anything from my parents, since we wrote each other the week before.

I opened it, and I recognized the calligraphy.

"Meet me in our place at 9.00 pm, I'll wait for you.

D.M."

Why did he want to meet me? maybe, he was going to finally tell me what was happening, or what was bothering him since the beginning of the summer.

I felt his perfume coming from the letter, and I smelled it. It reminded me of the last night we were together, and I couldn't wait to meet him again.

I hid the letter under my pillow, and I walked out the room directed to the Great Hall for dinner.

I tried to find Draco in there, but he wasn't there.

I ate something with my friends, and when it was time, I exited the common room and I went to the astronomy tower. I knew it was our place. It has always been, and I was quite happy he felt the same thing about that place. It meant so much to me.

When I reached the place, I saw him looking the lake. It was already dark, and all I could see was his blonde hair.

"Hey" I said, he turned around and when he looked at me, I saw his eyes red, as if had cried the whole time

"Hey, what's wrong? What happened?" I ask coming closer to him, but he didn't answer, he looked down, as if he was ashamed of something

"I have to tell you something" he said still looking down.

I didn't say anything, I just kept looking at him

"there is a reason why I didn't answer any of your letters and I tried to avoid you this year" he said. He started crying. I didn't know what to do.

"Draco, you are making me worry"

"I was chosen" he said showing his right arm.

I looked down and I saw the mark. I shivered. He was a death-eater. He was one of them. I didn't say anything immediately. I wasn't scared of him, but for a moment I wanted to leave. But I knew that if I did, I would have abandoned him like everyone else and he would have been broken, and I didn't want that.

"Say something Hannah, please" he said. I was still looking at his arm, but then I looked up, and I sighed

"This is not the end, there are other things that can give your life meaning" I said looking in his eyes.

"Like what? You?" he asked, this was the mean Draco talking, and I felt bad

"This is the part where you apologise"

"This is the part where you leave"

"you don't mean it"

"too difficult for you is it?" he asked

"yes. It is, it breaks my heart to see you in this way"

He didn't reply, and I kept talking

"Draco look at me. You are not this okay? You're not a bad person. You are genuine, you are anything but this. You might have the mark, but please don't let this mark define you."

He wasn't looking at me, and he was still crying. I came closer to him. I took his hands in mine.

"Look at me" I whispered, he did what I said. I took his face in my hands, I looked at him, and I smiled shily.

"You are not this. We both know that. I love you no matter what. Please don't be angry at yourself"

He looked down and he nodded

"We are in this together, okay? From now on I won't leave you, ever" I looked at him "It's just you and I"

I hugged him, because I knew he needed a hug from someone. We didn't talk, and he was in shock. We sat down on the steps of the staircase

"do you remember the first time we came here?" I said, trying to distract him "We met here because you wanted to apologise because you went to the Ball with Pansy" I chuckled "I was so in love with you, but I didn't want to admit it even to myself. And then you kissed me, our first kiss" he smiled for the memory

"See? We are this, and even thought you have that mark we can still be that. Us." He looked at me

"I'm so sorry"

"Don't be" I replied

For the rest of the time he told me how happened, and he cried a little with his head on my shoulder. Holding our hands.

I walked him to the Slytherin common room, and then I told Blaise to make sure he was okay, in his bed sleeping.

And then I exited the room trying to avoid every question Blaise tried to ask me.

I went to the Gryffindor common room, but when I was on my way I had to stop.

I crouched on the floor against the corridor wall, I took a deep breath, and I cried silently.

I cried for him, thinking of how much he must have suffered alone and how much he must feel alone in that moment.

Draco Malfoy was the most broken person I knew, and I couldn't stand it. He didn't deserve any of this.