Always You

CHAPTER 42

"I want to write to Draco" I said convinced to Theo and Blaise.

They looked at each other. It was a Sunday morning, the next day, and they had just woken up. Ginny was already gone.

"Are you mad?" Blaise asked me

"No, I have a plan" they looked at me as if to tell me to continue "I'll write the letter, but outside of the letter I will write Theo's name, so everyone will think that Theo had answered Draco's letter instead of me"

"yes, you are completely crazy" Blaise answered me. Theo remained silence, as if he was thinking about something.

"I'm not searching for your consent. I've already decided"

Blaise sighed, thinking it was a bad idea

"Theo? What do you think?" he asked to his friend. I looked at Theo, hoping he would have agreed

"it can work" I smiled looking at me, but Blaise sighed even louder.

I didn't care about that, I returned to my room, and I started writing something. I didn't want to be explicit, Draco would have understood anyways.

"Hi Draco,

I'm fine thanks, things at Hogwarts have changed radically.

I really hope you are alright. Hannah is fine. Blaise, Hannah and I spend a lot of time together. She doesn't talk about you too much to anyone, because it's too much for her, but I know that she misses you very much.

But remember what you said to her that night in the room of requirement "We'll be okay, Han, I promise". She is waiting for you, Draco.

Don't do anything stupid.

P.S. I have your ring, the one with the snake, hope you don't mind. Oh, and does Theo write in this way? I don't know (I love you)"

Once I finished to write it, I let Blaise and Theo read it. Blaise found it perfect, even though he wasn't still sure it was a good idea.

That afternoon I went to the owlery to send the letter, but before that, I sprayed my perfume all over the letter, so that he would understand.

I went to the library and I stayed there for the entire evening studying alone.

Winter came too quickly, and Christmas was already on its way. I decided to accept Ginny's invite to spend the holidays with her and her family.

Obviously, I didn't expect Ron, Harry and Hermione to be there with us, but when we arrived at the Burrow, I felt a sense of disappointment not to see them.

That year, the atmosphere was completely different, muggles families kept being murdered by death eaters and I felt completely useless about that.

Lupin and Tonks spent Christmas day with me and the Weasleys.

"Hannah, can we talk for a minute?" Lupin asked me

"sure" I said, knowing already what he was going to ask me

"how is going at Hogwarts?"

"it's, um, it's hard. I'm sorry if I hadn't written to you, they read every letter. I got in trouble with the Carrows, they recognized me from that night when Dumbledore died, they were there. Since then, they hate me" Lupin sighed, knowing it was bad "But McGonagall decided to let me stay in the prefects dormitory with Blaise Zabini, he's a trusted friend of mine and a Slytherin, and when I'm with him, they don't even look at me"

"professor McGonagall is right. If it is true what you said, you have to stay with him as much as you can, even when you have to change classes or walk through the castle corridors. Is that clear?" he asked, and I nodded "And be careful, Hannah. They are dangerous"

After two weeks we returned at the castle. Most of the students decided to remain at home.

I couldn't blame them. Hogwarts wasn't safe anymore, especially for the first-year student: indeed, most of those who came back were students from fifth-year up.

I stayed with Neville, Dean and Ginny for a while in the Gryffindor common room, but then I went to my dorm where I found Blaise and Theo reading.

"Hi guys" I said smiling. I could say that I missed their presence, I was used to see them every day.

"hey" Blaise said smiling back

"Hi Hannah, how was your holidays?" Theo asked

"nothing special, what about you?"

"Same" I chuckled

"Theo, um, has Draco answered to the letter?" I asked nervously

"he hasn't, but I'm pretty sure he understood. He's just smart not to answer"

I nodded.

I spent those days with my friends, studying, attending classes and trying not to argue with the Carrows – I stayed with Blaise during defence against the dark arts lessons, so they couldn't do anything, he was a Slytherin and they couldn't do anything until I was with him, or Theo.

I tried not to think about Draco's letter, or about where Ron, Hermione and Harry were, or what they were doing, or if they were okay. I hoped with all of my heart that they were okay. I was alternating moments of comfort and discomfort.

I knew they were smart, and they knew what they were doing, but anything could have happened.

Sometimes Ginny and I talked about them, trying to help each other to stay positive, but we preferred not to touch that topic so often.

On the other hand, Blaise and Theo helped me a lot with some of those panic attacks I had, especially at night.

I hated the idea of them looking at me in that state, but I really needed help from someone, and they seemed not to mind helping me.

It was already March. Spring was on his way.

It was really late, and I had to return to my dorm from the Gryffindor common room. Despite knowing it was a terrible idea, I decided to walk through the dark corridors of the castle.

I knew that probably my room mates were worried about me, but I really needed some space, I wanted to stay alone and outside for a bit.

I didn't know where I was going, but after some minutes of freedom, I heard a familiar noise behind me, the noise of apparition.

I stopped walking. I wanted to start running, because I had a terrible feeling, but I hesitated. My feet couldn't move.

When I could finally do something, I turn around slowly, and I saw the last thing I could imagine.

"What are you doing here?"