Electric Box |h.s|

Chapter 22

All of me By The Score & Travis Barker

Harry

I'm such a fucking idiot.

What's wrong with me?

I still can't believe I almost did that.

It's Friday now I'm getting out of work, I'm going to my house to get dressed and go for a run real quick before the club. I'm still thinking back to that day on Tuesday of me almost kissing Ruby.

When I think I've done something bad it's always on repeat in my head, sometimes I get over it but it isn't this time.

I can't believe that almost fucking happened, I honestly don't even know why I was gonna do it. She was so sad because of that asshole, I got so lost in the moment seeing the beauty of her, I just wanted to lose myself and take her problems away.

I wanted to hug her, kiss her with every force of my body, but I simply can't.

I fucking crave her bad, I don't even know why I do. She's like a drug to me.

The strongest drug that exists for a human is another human being.

I had to run after that, I had to get away from her, she snapped me back to reality when I was close to her lips. If she didn't I probably would have ended up kissing her. I know it's wrong of me but I couldn't help it, you can't help who you end up kissing it just fucking happens.

Her lips looked so soft and wanted, I want to devour them with mine, thinking about it makes me ache.

I'm never like this with anyone, why is she doing this to me? She's playing games with me and she doesn't even know, she's a fucking tease. I don't like her, I don't, I just see her differently because she's a mom that's it. I wonder if she'll say anything to me tonight, she probably thought what the hell is wrong with this man? Because I hated her at first now I want to kiss her, she probably doesn't even wanna speak to me. I haven't seen her at all this week, except Monday and Tuesday besides that, it was because Greyson was sick.

I'm happy he came back on Friday he looks a lot better. He showed me a new green toy car he got, well I got it for him.

Obviously, I know when he's sick I'm his teacher, I have to know. It wasn't a big deal getting the toy and I also gave him soup. I just happened to go to a cafe I had to pick up my lunch and wanted to give him some soup, it was also next to a toy store and I know he loves toy cars and his favorite color is green, I wanted him to cheer up so I bought it for him. I did lie to the front desk man at Ruby's place, I told him I was a door dash guy and it was from her friend Bella. Maybe it was stupid of me for doing that, I just don't want Ruby to know.

I wanted to punch her ex so bad today when I saw him pick up Greyson, but I couldn't because I was in teacher mode, if I did I'll get fired. The way he fucking treats her isn't okay at all. I don't even know why she even lets him be with Greyson. I know it's none of my business but I fucking hate him. As I said before he gave no shit about Greyson's education, and it didn't even look like he cared about him when I met him 2 weeks before school for that 1 on 1 meeting. I'm actually surprised he even remembered me because I believe he was hungover when we met.

I know when I told Ruby about, no man should ever speak to a woman like that, she probably didn't believe me because she knows I'm an asshole. I'm only mean to them if they're mean right back, but I don't treat women how Finn was with Ruby. I mean yes I know I yelled at Diana but she deserved it, and I know I'm mean to my mom but she was never there for me ever in life so that's how I'm treating her. I know I'm probably still an ass to Ruby but I'm trying my best.

I hate it so much, every time I see her she's either crying or pissed off, she can never get a break.

I'm honestly wondering if Greyson was planned or not, but to me, I don't think it was planned at all. I feel so bad for him he doesn't deserve this, I wonder if Ruby said anything to him about the drawing. I knew when I showed her it she got emotional she had to put a wall up because she was surrounded by people.