Chapter 9: I'm sorry

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It was your second day without Jake, and you longed for him an unbearable amount already, especially since you were missing their last set of the tour. You flew home to attend and art gala that was displaying some of your work, and you were excited and grateful for that, but your heart ached for Jake. His last show was tonight and you wanted to show your support. When you got back to your parents house for the night, you settled into bed, and decided to FaceTime Jake. His face popped up on your screen and you felt immediate comfort. "Hey sweet girl, long time no see. How are you holding up?" Ugh, so sweet of him to check on YOU when he was the one about to perform on stage. "I'm really good, baby. I just wanted to wish you luck and tell you I'm so proud of you. I'm really excited to see the footage you guys get. Kick ass tonight, like you always do." Jake gave you a big smile, flashing his perfect teeth. "I love you. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. We do have an after party celebrating the end of our tour, but I'll do my best to text you." You wanted Jake to have the most fun he possibly could tonight, not having to worry about "checking in" with you. "Don't worry about that baby, you just go have fun tonight. Go be the sexy rockstar I fell in love with." He blushed and you realized that you have never seen Jake blush.

Finally the long and excruciating weekend was over. It was time to see Jake again. You arrived at the cabin around 7 and you could hardly contain yourself. You were finally in the beloved Frankenmuth. You were so excited to see Jake. You knocked on the door and were greeted by Josh "Hey mama!" He exclaimed as he bombarded you with a quick but welcoming hug. You could hear the sounds of yelling and music fill the cabin. You stepped through the door and saw Jake sipping on a cocktail of some sort. He turned his head and as soon as he noticed you he practically ran towards you, lifting you off of the ground, and pulling you into him. "Baby, I love you." He said. "I love you too Jakey, I missed you so much. Let's never do that again." You said. "Deal, I'll just take you everywhere with me and you can be my little groupie." You playfully swatted his chest "hey!" He smirks at you as he sets you down. "Let me make you a plate of food." Jake said, "I made rib eye and Josh made asparagus. It's super good, you're gonna love it." You sat down at a barstool and patiently waited for Jake to serve you this delicious meal. He was so beautiful, you couldn't help but stare at him, finding something new to be enamored with every time you did. Sometimes you forgot he was an actual rockstar. And when he showed his domestic side you wanted to melt. You loved this man so much, and you knew if this ever ended you would be absolutely and completely destroyed.

The rest of the night was full of giggles and music, like always. Jake and Josh had started a campfire out back and Danny and Sam were laying on their stomachs in the grass, trying to beat eachother at arm wrestling. Danny was  clearly winning. You laughed at the sight of it. You started to feel a little light headed, realizing you had no idea how many drinks you'd had. You decided you'd better get some water. You got up from your lawn chair next to the fire and made your way to the kitchen. You were filling your glass with water from the tap when a voice startled you "Hey mama..." It was Josh. "Josh, you scared me!" You exclaimed. "I really need to talk to you." You were intrigued, but slightly nervous. "Okay, sure." You said, looking at him with kind eyes. "Can we go upstairs?" he asked. "Lead the way." you responded. Josh gave you a sympathetic smile before starting up the stairs. What is going on with him? You followed him to the back patio outside of his room. "Here" he said handing you a salty dog. "You're gonna need this." You took a drink and tried to prepare yourself for whatever he was about to say. "I love Jake with my whole heart, you know that...." Josh started. You nodded in response. "I respect you too much not to say something, so here. I think you need to see this. It's from last night." Josh reached out his phone to you, and when you saw what was on it you froze, feeling your throat tighten and your body start to shake. It was a picture of Jake, he had a girl pinned against a brick wall and he was kissing her with what looked like quite a bit of passion. You shoved the drink back into Josh's hands and ran for his bathroom, falling to your knees in front of the toilet and vomiting up the contents of your stomach. Josh walked up behind you and placed his open hand on your back, rubbing small circles. "I'm really sorry, mama." He said with pain in his voice. You knew it wasn't an easy choice for him to show you. "Thank you for telling me Josh" you said sincerely but through tears. Josh gritted his teeth together, angry at what his brother had done to you. What he was putting you through. "You wanna sleep in here tonight? I can take the couch." He offered. You gave him a small nod. There was no way in hell you were staying with Jake tonight. Your chest was tight, and it felt like your whole world was crashing down around you. How could he do this to you? Josh reached his hand out and you grabbed it as he pulled you up and into a warm hug, just rubbing your back as you began to sob into his chest, soaking his shirt. "I know" he said reassuringly. "I know." Then a knock on the door, without waiting for a response the door slowly opened and there stood Jake. Once he fully took in the scene and realized you were balling with Josh consoling you, he immediately looked down at his feet. Josh let go of you, giving you one last sweet smile before walking past his brother, shooting him a look of disappointment, and giving you and Jake the room. It was silent for a moment, the most painful silence you've ever felt. You didn't know what to say or where to start. Finally you got yourself to speak up when you realized Jake wasn't going to. "Why?" Is all you could manage to get out. Jake closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "I was really drunk. And lonely. I didn't mean for-"
you cut him off "Drunk?! That's your excuse? You're always fucking drunk, Jake." You were so angry at this point you felt like your blood was boiling. "Baby I'm-" he started. "Jake just get out. Please." He looked back down at the ground again for a moment before heading towards the door. He turned back to you before closing the door "I'm more sorry than you could ever know." He said through gritted teeth. He shut the door behind him and you were left alone and in silence. You fell to the bed and began sobbing uncontrollably again, crying yourself to sleep for the first time in years.

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