URBAN 2

TWENTY EIGHT

Ashanti

I laid in my bed, feeling heartbroken and useless for not going out to find her.

How can Azeria be gone? How can someone just take her away like that? She's a newborn baby. She needs me. What if she's hungry or crying? Or lying in some rubbish bin somewhere or she's been left in a car? Or if she's dead?

I took in a sharp breath and turned to the side to look at Kelechi who was fast asleep in the cot I moved into mine and Keem's room. I don't wanna be apart from Kelechi for a second.

I looked at the clock on the desk and sighed. It's 5 am. Keem's still not back, he's been out there looking for Azeria for nearly 10 hours now. I don't even know where he's looking or what his plan is. I just hope he finds her.

I pressed my lips together and looked to the ceiling.

I feel like she's okay, though. I don't feel like she's hurt or anything. My gut is telling me she's still alive.

The door opened slowly. I watched as Keem came in. He walked past the bed and into the bathroom. I think he's angry at me. I shouldn't have blamed him for Azeria's disappearance, it's not his fault. Honestly, it's more my fault. I left the twins alone with Felicity, an unstable teenager who needs nearly as much support as the twins.

I'm to blame.

And it's eating me up inside. It's like I can feel my mental stability deteriorating more and more every second.

I wiped my tears quick as Keem came out of the bathroom. He was wearing basketball shorts and a vest. He took off the vest before getting into bed. He laid down without a word and faced the opposite way from me.

Shit.

I took in a shaky breath and released it, unintentionally letting out a small sob. I sniffed and wiped my tears again, turning the opposite way too.

I will do anything to get Azeria back. I will do anything.

Poor baby girl. She doesn't deserve any of this. She's already faced death once when she came into the world without breathing.

I wish I could do something but there's nothing for me to do. The police literally will not do anything to get her back. If anything, they'll take Kelechi away from me and call social services on us. Maybe we deserve that, though. We brought innocent children into this evil life of danger and crime. So fucking irresponsible of us.

I moved to start getting out of the bed, suddenly having the urge to go out and look for her myself.

"Baby, stop," Keem muttered in a low voice, turning around and pulling me to face him.

I frowned in confusion as I looked at him.

"Where you going?" he pulled me close.

"I wanna go look for Azeria," I whispered, then pressed my lips together to stop me from crying again.

"It's late. You want someone to snatch you away too?" he asked, pulling me even closer so there wasn't any space between us. "Everything's gonna be okay," he whispered. "It has to be,"

"...I'm sorry," I sighed.

"You don't have to apologise. I can't imagine how you're feeling, baby," Keem looked sad. "You're her mother. The connection is different between a mother and her babies," he rubbed my back.

I sniffed. "Feels like someone's ripped out my heart," I tried to explain the feeling. It so emotionally painful it feels like a physical wound.

Kelechi coughed a little. I turned round to check at him.