URBAN 2

FORTY

Ashanti

This is so weird.

I haven't seen Keem for maybe two or three weeks now. I've seen the twins every couple days though. Keem agreed to drop the twins off at his Ris' house every other day so I can spend time with them.

We've blended it well, I can't lie, no one knows Keem and I aren't together except Jordan and Ris. When I left Keem, I didn't know where I was going. Then I remembered Ris lives a few doors away and I've just been staying with him.

I didn't really tell Ris that Keem kissed Eli, cos I don't want anyone to know. I can't deal with that. I just told him Keem and I are having some time apart.

"Aight, he's gone," Ris called from downstairs as I heard the door close.

I came down the stairs sighing.

"I can't lie, mun, this is bare childish. Why are you man hiding from each other?" Ris asked me.

"We're not hiding. I just don't wanna see him," I shrugged.

"When are yous getting back together? Your shit is taking up too much space," he moved my blanket from the sofa and sat down.

I laughed. I know me and Keem getting back together depends on my decision but I've had a lot of time to think and I can't lie, yes, I miss him and think about him a lot, but I've also had more time to myself, been able to get back on track with my life. I'm working in the local primary school, got a chance to get some work experience as a teacher assistant. Which is kinda cool.

I always saw myself working with kids so this might be the right step for me. Originally, I wanted to do something more psychological which is why I took Psychology at uni but I tried that twice and dropped out so university definitely is not for me.

I can't lie, I guess now that I'm thinking of my life without Keem in it, I regret not attending some of the freshers uni gatherings and games nights and all that. Not even the motives cos I didn't even want the temptation of looking at another nigga let alone get moved to.

But now, like, I'm deeping it. I have no friends.

I'm alone.

I have friends through Keem, obviously, Jordan and Gray. Lol, I'm not even talking to Gray for now, he kept the secret about Eli and Keem from me. Anyways, like, I don't have a group of girl friends I can chill with. Even though I love Amaya, she's about to get married to her nigga and she's all busy with her life, I don't wanna suddenly butt in, especially when me and her brother are really broken up now.

Eli was my only 'friend'.

And Rico but we haven't spoken for a few months, I doubt he even knows I was pregnant. I gotta call him sometime.

I'm 19. Come on. This isn't what I imagined for myself. Maybe I need to get my nyash to some motives and make friends? I don't think I'm looking for anything that's not friendship for now.

Ew, imagine if Keem found out I was chatting to someone else, he'd kill the guy.

Ew, I tried to imagine Keem talking to other girls.

I shivered and shook my head.

"I'm gonna go Westfield and get the last of the stuff for bubbas party," I said, referring to the twins as 'bubbas'.

Oh yeah, so Keem and I have actually spoken. It wasn't about us but it was just about the twins. The twins weren't actually officially named or registered, we never got to naming them legally. We decided their names are Kelechi Taiwo King (first born, thank God) and Azeria Kehinde King (second born, helped by God).