URBAN 2

THIRTY EIGHT

Ashanti

I don't wanna let her go. Ever.

I sat in Azeria's crib, rubbing her tiny arm slightly.

I haven't said anything to Keem.

I don't know if I want to.

I don't wanna ruin things between us. We're so good right now.

But I'm so hurt right now.

I'm so angry.

I don't want to hate Keem.

I don't know what to do.

I sniffed and wiped my tears as I looked down at Azeria.

When I came into the room and saw Azeria, Keem immediately gave her to me. He didn't say anything, he just hugged me and watched over us both. I was burning with rage for Keem but Azeria acted like a reminder to stay calm.

Keem left the room with Kelechi a while ago to change him.

"I love you so much, baby," I whispered to Azeria.

What's gonna happen now, though? Let's say Keem and I continue form where we're at right now, I'm always gonna have the fact that he fucked Eli in my mind, it's gonna eat me up inside. I don't wanna be the kinda girl that stays in a broken relationship just for the kids. I don't wanna sneak around and find love with someone else while I'm still with Keem.

Azeria babbled a little and blinked slowly.

"We're gonna run away," I said impulsively.

I paused for a second.

"We're gonna run away from your daddy," I whispered. "Me, you and your brother," I nodded to myself. "We're gonna run away and be happy in Leicester with Grandma Kerri," I nodded more.

Azeria blinked slowly and looked at me.

"I know you don't want to leave daddy behind but... daddy is a liar. Daddy did a bad thing. Daddy has hurt mummy. And mummy doesn't wanna hurt daddy so the best thing to do is to leave," I know I sound mad but I think I'm coming up with something.

I looked at my phone and contemplated calling my mum.

Last time I told mum that Keem and I were having problems, with him going to prison and me finding out I was pregnant, she handled it so wrong.

I don't know who to tell.

I'll tell Adri.

Yeah, Adrien will know what to do.

He's always been the maturest out of all us siblings.

"We're gonna go see Uncle Adri," I hummed. "We're gonna go live with him till mummy can find us a new place,"

I sighed loudly and shut my eyes.

Am I really about to do this?

Yes, the fuck. Of course I am.

Am I Cardi B or Khloe Kardashian to be staying with a nigga who has cheated on me?

I got out of Azeria's crib, still holding her. I'm serious, I'm not letting her go.

Can't lie, I can get away with running away from Keem. I just need to pretend everything is okay then cut in the night.

I went into the bedroom and saw Keem playing peek-a-boo with Kelechi who was giggling.

Keem smiled as I came in.

I physically cannot look at him without feeling rage. I can't even bring myself to ask him to explain himself. Nah cos, everytime we argue, I let him explain himself and then I'm the one who comes up with a solution so we're both happy.