URBAN 2

FORTY TWO

Ashanti

I kissed my teeth.

"I'll be there in a couple hours," Keem said on the phone. I could hear music blasting in the background and shouting.

"Keem, are you being serious?" I asked. "I have work tomorrow at 7. I need to be up by 6 and I can't leave the twins here cos Ris is going to school at 8,"

"Yeah, yeah, calm, I'll be there before Ris goes to school to get them," Keem said, like he was distracted. "Woiiii," I heard him shout and people laughing.

"Keem," I said sternly.

"What, man?" he answered.

Ouch, okay.

"You said you'd take the twins by 6pm. It's past 1am already. And they're not going to sleep, they keep crying. I need to sleep," I complained.

"Yooo," he dragged. "I said I'll be there in a bit,"

I heard a girl's voice. "Keem, come here," she squealed.

"That's not nobody-" Keem started but I wasn't tryna hear it.

"Whatever," I hung up on him.

Keem was supposed to be here by 6 to collect the twins. I couldn't care less about the girl at the end of the phone call. I'm pissed cos this guy, for the past two weeks, has barely seen his kids and is drinking around them.

For someone who promised he'd win me back, he's really failing right now.

He's failing his kids too.

If anything, he's pushing me away from him, further and further.

I don't regret having sex with him the day of the twins' party. I wanted that. I wanted dick.

It was just sex.

And better than me going to a random person for sex then regretting it.

I groaned as the sound of the twins crying got louder.

I don't know what to do with them. Zeze keeps on crying and crying then Kenzo joins in cos she's disturbing his sleep or sometimes he'll cry just cos she's crying.

I've tried to separate them and put them in different rooms at night but the crying is worse cos even at this young age, I can see they're dependent on each other. It's like they can communicate with each other already.

Zeze's deffo got separation anxiety, and I don't blame her, she's been through some traumatic things. She's definitely happier and calmer when she's with me, not even with Keem cos she's barely seen him this month. The twins are forming their attachments at this age so it's important they're around both Keem and I.

I've asked my mum what I should do and she said I should try letting her cry at night and ignore it but I can't, my heart hurts to hear either of them even whining. Just imagine what they're thinking, has mummy left me?

Ugh.

I got up from the sofa and went upstairs to them. "Shhh, baby," I carried Zeze while I soothed Kelechi by giving him back his dummy.

Zeze's tears stopped in a couple minutes and she laid still in my arms. "It's okay, my love, mama's here for you," I sang softly. "You're okay,"

Zeze hummed and smacked her lips a little.

I walked around the room, rubbing her back. "I love you, baby," I whispered.

After about half an hour, Zeze had been asleep for maybe 20 minutes so I decided to put her back down in her cot.