URBAN 2

THIRTY NINE

Keem

I felt pain all over me as I watched Jordan drive away with Ti.

Fuck.

I've been shot at and stabbed and even tortured but nothing hurts like this, what the fuck?

I gulped, feeling my throat was dry to a point it hurt to breathe.

"Fuck," I whispered and rubbed my throat, going back into the house and shaking my head.

Fuck, this, mun.

I slumped onto the couch looking at the table and seeing an unfinished spliff. I pulled my lighter out of my pocket and put the blunt to my lips.

Once the smoke entered my lungs I felt my pain lessen immediately. I shut my eyes and laid back.

Its as if I'm gonna die right now.

Why does this shit hurt so much? Ti and I have broken up before but... this time it feels mad, like she's taken a part of me away.

The twins.

She's taken the twins away from me. She's done this to hurt me back. She's never gonna bring them back. She's keeping them from me forever.

I shook my head and took the blunt from my lips and put it down.

What the fuck is in that shit? I'm being delusional.

Ti ain't like that. She's pissed at me but she wouldn't take the kids from me to hurt me. She probably hasn't even realised what she's done.

But, fuck, man. This house is so quiet right now.

The night replayed in my mind. I need Ti. I need to explain everything to her properly. She needs me too so she needs to listen.

I suddenly got angry at myself and punched the couch.

"Fuck!" I repeated. "Ah, man!" I kissed my teeth and shut my eyes as I stood up, breathing hard.

I suddenly felt my eyes fill up with tears as I tried hard to fight them.

My breathing didn't slow down, what the fuck's going on with me?

I dropped to the floor, breathing hard and holding my chest. I felt dizzy and like I was shaking. I tensed my muscles tryna gain my strength but I couldn't.

Maybe I'm gonna die right now.

"Keem?" I heard Flick come down the stairs. "Keem!" she must've ran to me helped me sit up.

I looked at her, shaking my head and covering my eyes as I knew I was crying at this point.

Ain't no way I'm letting her see a big man like me cry.

"Keem, look at me, breathe, breathe," she pulled my hands from my face. "Okay, look, look, breathe in," she breathed in.

I took in a deep breath through my mouth.

"... and breathe out," she continued.

I did the same and felt my heart rate slow down immediately.

"Again," she repeated and I copied her.

After a minute or so she frowned a little at me and tilted her head. I know she heard the argument between Ti and I but I also know she doesn't like to get too involved in our business, she keeps to herself, she ain't inna like that.

"What the fuck was that?" I muttered.

"A panic attack, I think," she sat next to me.

"Nah, man," I swiped the split from the table and put it to my lips again, lighting it. "Must've just lost my breath or suen," I mumbled.