Changed

Chapter 19

"Adam what's wrong?" I whisper silently. I was afraid if he was gonna shout at me for no reason, but I think I know him better than that.

Adam ignores my question, and continues to look off at a distance, like there was no such thing as life. And to be honest, it was a strange look on him.

"Are you okay Adam?" I ask, reaching my hand out to him, but then quickly putting it back down to my lap. What am I doing? Was I going to...comfort Adam? As in, tell him he'll be fine and I care about him. I mean I do, but..

"It's nothing." I hear him mumble. I try to see his expression but it was so unreadable. Maybe it is nothing than.

"Okay." I whisper very quietly, I'd be surprised if he heard my response.

Once the loud bell rang, Adam jumps out of his seat and rushes out the classroom. If I didn't have to go to my first class, I would've followed him. That sounds creepy, but it's the truth.

Maybe if I skip lunch, I'll find Adam in the halls somewhere. It's sad to admit, but Adam and I haven't had a decent conversation. Like a twenty minute conversation. We never had one of those. And yet it feels like I know him better than anyone else, which I hope isn't true since I'm just now knowing him.

As I said, I skipped lunch. I couldn't find Adam in the halls anywhere, I basically searched everywhere instead of the boys bathroom of course. Though he could be in a stall...hurting himself.

I gasp to myself. He wouldn't do that would he? He told me he stopped because I would just catch him doing it again. Right? I hope he doesn't. This is all my fault anyways, it's been a week and I still haven't told a soul. I feel like a monster. What is wrong with me.

I shouldn't have skipped lunch, I feel so hungry. It felt like I was fasting myself, but this time I didn't eat much last night and in the morning. Actually, I ate nothing in the morning. My stomach is killing me.

I rush out of fourth period, and back upstairs. The assembly, I can't believe I forgot about it again. I rush into advisory, putting down my notebooks and folders on my desk. Mr.Foley sits patiently behind his large desk, counting all of the students that enters the classroom.

Adam is already seated next to my desk, he looks like his in a better mood then earlier in the morning. He faces towards me, his eyes looking needy.

"Sofia?" Adam's voice is barley audible.

"Yeah."

"I've still haven't cut." He looks down at his arm.

I smile widely. "That's amazing news."

His eyes looks like his regretting something.

"Adam you can trust me." I say kindly.

"It's just that... I need to cut myself. I need to relieve the pain inside." He darts his eyes away from mine, staring at the white board in the front of the classroom. My heart is pounding by his response.

"You are not going to cut yourself." I try to act calm.

"I need to."

"No you don't. You have a choice. No one is forcing you. But I'm telling you, you shouldn't do it." I want him to face me, I want to see his facial expression. I don't know if I'm pushing him or if I'm being annoying to him.

"I can't do this anymore Sofia."

"Yes you can. If you cut yourself again Adam then we need to make a call-"

"Make a call?" Adam finally faces me, his very confused.

"Yes, make a call."

"To who?" He knows the answer, but decides to still ask.

"To people that supports you, and helps you. I don't know the number, but I can research."

Adam looks at me with so much shock, and confusion.

"What?" I say.

"Your not going to...leave me?" He says looking at me with big desperate eyes.

"Why would I?" What does he even mean, why would I leave him alone if I know what his doing to himself. Plus it would be my felt for not telling an adult in the first place.

"I thought...never mind."

"No tell me."

"It's nothing."

I wasn't going to drop this discussion, so he better put up a fight.

"It isn't nothing to me Adam." I whisper, noticing his eyes soften.

"I thought you'd leave me once you told an adult. I thought that you were waiting for a moment to leave me. And think I'm this freak who always wear the same outfit. And that always hides you things about me."

"W-Why?" I would never think that way about him, especially since I know he has it harder than me.

"Because no one has ever worried about me as much as you do. I even thought when I hugged you, you would ignore me forever. So I got pissed at myself." Adam strokes his hair back under his hood.

That explains why he was so angry when he walked in this morning. I wanted to tell him I was so...surprised? And maybe even happy that he hugged me, but that would be embarrassing.

I can already feel my cheeks heat up at the mention of him hugging me yesterday. I hide my face from him using my long sleeves.

"Clearly you don't know me well." I say, not realizing how it sounds like I'm mad.

"Yeah. I don't, but I wished I did." Adam surprises me by saying.

Than a small idea popped in my head. "Do you have a phone?" I ask Adam.

Adam nods.

"We can probably text? But not call, my uh...sister is a bit nosey when I'm on the phone." I notice Adam's eyes brightening up.

"Yeah, sure. Here's my number." Adam rips a small piece of paper out, writing his number across it. He hands me the small ripped up paper, and I put it in my pocket. I have no idea what I'm getting myself into, but I don't care for right now.

Mr.Foley's name gets called for the assemble. The classroom of students begins walking out the door, and downstairs to the large gym.

I walk by Adam, he doesn't say anything to me the whole walk to the bleachers. We walked up the steps to rows twenty-three to twenty. I sit by Adam, but not to close to him to the point our knees are touching, but to the point where we have a good seven inch away from each other.

The vice principle begins speaking about our school, and how great it will be this year. Just the basic bull crap they say each year.

"This is so boring." Adam rest his chin on his palms.

I chuckle a little, seeing him roll his eyes when the vice principle says school and fun in the same sentence.

"We just got here." I smile at how bored he already is. I literally thought I was the only one who hated assembles so much, everyone else is happy that we get to skip two classes but I'm not. And it seems like Adam isn't either. I rather be in English right now instead of this stupid assemble.

The principal than shows up, and basically says the same things as the vice principle. He starts saying how amazing things will be this year, and the added field trips, I guess the funding of this school is going to the building and field trips. When it should all be going to the food we eat at school every day.

My butt is already asleep, I hate sitting on the bleachers. I hate assembles.

. . .

"I'll remember to text you." I say to Adam, promising him actually. I hope he knows I won't forget about his existence.

"Okay. I'll text back, but tell me it's you." Adam smiles.

"Okay. Bye Adam." I wave to him.

And he waves back.

I guess surprise hugs are out of the list.