Champorado

37

HAPPY birthday, Migo.

Jiya stares at the message she sent him a week ago—the message she spent hours trying to type without her fingers shaking. He read it almost immediately, just a few seconds after it got through, but he didn't reply.

Hasn't.

*

Jiya is in the middle of a meeting when her phone tells her Migo posted something on his Instagram for the first time in so long.

She swipes the notification, heart beating loudly.

Walang caption. It's just a black and white photo of him holding a dog in his arms.

Jiya studies his face. He's not smiling as he looks down at the dog, but Jiya can tell he's happy. In this moment, he is. He's wearing a cap on his head and the shirt he wore on their date in Las Piñas.

She puts down her phone when she realizes she's been staring at it for way too long and refocuses on the meeting, but her fingers twitch towards it every once in a while.

In her office, Jiya looks at it again. May comments na, pero isa lang ang napansin ni Jiya roon.

@natbauts: he loves u more
than me 😡

Ah. She blinks and puts the phone down. Sa Natalie pala 'yong aso.

Jiya takes a deep breath and exits the app.

*

Her birthday is a house party organized by her friends. They drink wine and play Twister and Jiya doesn't feel so alone—until they say their goodbyes at dawn and leave. Gelo is the last one out, helping her clean up.

She forgets to look at her phone, pero wala naman ding reason to look at it at all. Aside from her friends and family who greet her, she doesn't get anything from him.

*

She dreams of the Tagaytay villa again on their supposed eighth.

Wakes up with a smile on her face and the first half of his name on her lips until she realizes she's alone.

"Go," she finishes quietly.

She stares at the space where he was in her dream, the remnants of his laugh in her head, and she thinks that if she closes her eyes, she might start bawling again.

Jiya has gotten better at it. Think about him without crying. It works sometimes.

Though it still feels like a punch to the ground, she doesn't cry.

*

Mau comes with Inggo this time sa holidays.

They don't talk about him, but Jiya can see Mau wants to.

She doesn't, though. And later, when she's in bed, Jiya asks Inggo, "Is he okay?"

Like she always does sa mga weekly calls nila.

Inggo nods with a small smile.

Jiya nods back, too. That's...that's enough for her.

*

She doesn't text him this time around for his birthday.

*

Andrew from non-fiction takes her out to dinner after work one Friday. She told him she'd agree, but only as friends.