OHMAMI

"Tell me I wasn't a fool for falling in love with you"

I have been WAITING to write this chapter for so long and I'm so excited for you guys to read it. We're finally going see where Eren's head is cause this chapter is in his pov.

Also please don't hate me after this. I know you guys want to kill y/n but please just hang on for one more chapter. It'll get better in the next one, I promise :(

~

Smut warning

Eren

Watching her drive away wasn't even the hardest part. It was knowing that after this week her feelings for me still haven't changed, at least I think. There was not much more I could do to prove to her that she deserved everything in the world and more, but maybe that's the issue.

She deserved the world yet maybe I was not good enough. After everything I've done for her she still didn't seem to want me. I couldn't really blame her though if that was the case. Some people weren't meant to be in love with one another, it seemed like we were apart of that statistic.

When we first agreed on this arrangement I had no idea that my feelings would evolve that much. How could I? She's the type of girl that catches your attention and drags you into the water without even realizing. One minute you're calmly swimming and the next you've drowned with no way to be saved.

Growing up I've had many loving people in my life. Mom, dad, Armin, and Mikasa are a few of those people on that list. Once my parents were murdered everyone seemed to become hesitant around me like they were waiting for me to snap or something. Sure, I saw some traumatizing shit but that doesn't make me a bad person, does it?

It sure seemed like people thought that way. My friends didn't completely cut me off but they grew distant, talking to me only every once in a while to keep in touch. Armin and Mikasa were there for me the most which is saying something since even they too drifted away from me a little.

I put on this facade like I was fine and not hurting, but on the inside I was so lonely. The amount of nights I've cried myself to sleep are embarrassing to even think about. I waited and waited for someone, one of my friends or relatives, even a random stranger to look at me and not immediately take pity on me. I wanted someone to get to know me, the real me.

That was when she walked into my life, literally. When I first saw her in that locker room I was obviously physically attracted to her, which is why the night ended the way it did. After having a few conversations with her I knew I had to learn more about her. Taking her to the beach the following night was one of the best decisions I've ever made, but it was almost one of the worst.

I should've just told her right there that I didn't agree with the whole friends with benefits thing, that I wanted more, but I didn't want to loose the one person who actually saw the real me in months instead of the "poor boy with trauma". Even after I told her my story she didn't think differently of me. I knew in that moment I was fucked.

She was something special. Every time we hung out after that I couldn't help but fall for her a little more each time. I tried not to, I really did but I couldn't help it. Whenever I'm with her all my problems seem to disappear almost like they never even existed.

For the first time in years I could finally be my self around someone, and that person appreciated who I was. Her smile was so intoxicating it hurt. She had the ability to comfort me simply by her touch. Without even trying she mad my heart smile. The way she looked at me like I was the only one in the room sent butterflies straight to my stomach. The thought of having her around me all the time was the most comforting thought I've had in years, which is exactly why I loved her.