Ardently |h.s|

eight

I'm afraid I'll never sleep again. Between being in a strange room and my nightmares of Harry, I have been unable to get a good night of sleep.

I lay awake in bed, hoping that sleep will overtake me and the next time my eyes open it'll be morning. My first ball is tonight. When I wake I'll be fed and then preparations begin for me to get dressed for this ball. I think the stress is what's keeping me from sleep tonight.

A knock on my door draws my attention and I sit up in bed. After another knock I get up to my feet, slipping on the dressing gown that is hanging up. Holding the silky fabric closer to me, I open the door.

Liam is at the door, cloak around his shoulders as he twists his leather gloves between his hands. The past few weeks have been torturous for him. Every night he comes to my room, begging me not to go through with this. I wish more than anything that his pleas weren't in vain and that I could put my foot down, but this is no longer my choice. It has gone too far to turn back now.

"Charlotte, I hope I did not wake you, I know you need your rest." he says, sounding too formal for my brother.

"No, I was awake. What is it, Li?" I ask, hoping my use of his nickname will signal to him that I'm still me.

His shoulders ease slightly as he lets out a sigh. "Do you wanna go riding?" he asks simply. A smile escapes me and I nod quickly, running to throw on my boots and a cape before joining him at the door.

He has a smile on his face now too as we quietly go down the stairs and out the door. Once we mount the horses, we are off, racing toward the empty fields. It is much colder than the last time we did this, however, I think we were both in need of this escape from reality.

We laugh as our horses speed out of town, trying our best to stay quiet until we know we will not disturb anyone. I'm sure if the Viscountess saw me riding a horse in my new nightgown and dressing robe she would shriek.

I win the race, again, but this time I'm sure it is because he let me. We dismount from our horses, tying them to the tree once more.

"How are you feeling, sister?" he asks, putting his arm out for me to take hold of. I do.

We walk together, probably our last walk before the snow starts to fall. "Frightened." I admit, looking down at the ground. There's no use lying to him.

"You do not have to do this, Char." he starts his speech again and I let go of his arm with a sigh. "I know this was your mother's wish, but I can't stand to see you like this anymore!" he continues, impassioned.

"Liam, your mother has treated me in ways people like me are never treated. She has taken me in when she didn't have to. I am going to the ball tomorrow and come spring, I very well may be engaged to be wed." I put my foot down, not wanting him to indulge in my fantasies anymore.

It is quiet for a moment as we stand apart, looking at each other dead in the eyes. His gentle brown eyes bore into mine, wanting so badly for me to cave.

"You are not the Charlotte I grew up with." He finally breaks the silence and his words shake me to my core. "You are not the Charlotte that swore to never attend another ball or made jokes about my mother's obsession with marriage." His voice is stern and steady.

I hold my ground, not wanting his words to affect me. "I've grown up."

"You've sold out."

His words hang in the air like poison. I almost don't even recognize the man standing in front of me. Never has my brother said such harsh things to me. He knows that this was my mother's wish, and yet he pushes me to disobey her any chance he can.