Nevermind

Chapter 25: Killing You With Kindness

"Oh, honey! What a surprise!" your mom said as she looked at you worriedly. Indeed, you thought, but not the good kind as she believed.

Finally spitting the fruit on a napkin you hurriedly got from the kitchen, you looked over at her from behind the counter.

Your heart was racing and your whole body was shaking. This was the worst possible time for her to show up without a warning.

"Eomma, what are you doing here?" you were doing your best to swallow back the acid reflux in your throat. You certainly didn't miss this constant feeling of unwellness from when you were back home in Gwangju

"I knew you were busy with work, so I figured I'd pay you a visit. It's been so long since we've last seen you. We miss you" she said as she looked at you up and down, taking in what you looked like these days.

"Honey, you've gained a lot of weight" she commented, looking at you pitifully. You shifted on your feet looking down at yourself and then back up at her.

She was sculptural as always, flawless make-up, clothes like out of a runway, perfect hourglass figure, silky hair and just the perfect stature for her long, smooth legs to turn heads as she strutted.

Next to your mom you always felt incredibly self conscious, she was everything you could have been and were not. It would have not been impossible, it ran in your blood, whether anyone could believe it or not.

Wrapping your arms around your body, as if trying to shield yourself from her gaze, she continued to talk unaware of what she was doing. Oblivious to her hurtful comments.

The worst thing about her was that she killed you with kindness. If people insulted you or belittled you, you didn't hesitate to go off on them, but her...

She was always trying to help and wanted the best for you. It was terribly confusing, for the longest time you had believed it to be good even.

"I brought some presents, outfits I knew would cover your father's thighs and arms" she sighed. It was always like this, talking about the body parts you'd inherited from your dad.

"I don't think they'll fit. I figured you would have stuck to our routine" she shook her head disappointed.

Anything that included him was a synonym of bad. At least when it came to you, these features weren't lady-like, they suited your dad quite well though.

As superficial as your mom was and being able to get just any man she wanted, she hadn't settled for less than the most handsome man she could find.

"Don't worry, honey. By the end of the week, you'll be back on track just in time for the holidays. With all those fatty foods, we have to be prepared" she commented and you bit on your nails nervously.

Christmas and New Year's. The parade of dishes from that season was an absolute nightmare.

"Eomma, I don't think I can make it home for Christmas this year. I'm sorry" you lied and tried to come up with an excuse not to visit your family.

"Oh, really? Are you spending it with friends then. This Jimi you mentioned?" you held your breath, of course. You had nearly said his name when you opened the door expecting to see him there.

"Jimin. Yes, she's organizing this party and I'd really like to be there, to make friends" you had never been more grateful that Jimin's name was gender neutral.

This was the perfect excuse to tell your mom. She'd prioritize socializing and acquainting yourself with your new city.

"Oh, that's wonderful! Well done, honey. Gotta tend to your social circles, I would expect nothing less from my daughter" she commented proudly and you looked down at your feet.