Gruntling(MadnessCombatxChild!Reader)

HEADCANONS| Cringe?

What are the embarrassing stuff that your dad does?

HANK
-He treasures his blender.
-Just like how the stereotypical dad treasures his toolbox and tools.
-You need to use the blender? You gotta ask permission.
-You didn't notice his obsession until you got older.
-"Dad the blender IS old and broken you need to move on and THROW IT OUT. "

SANFORD
-If you ever heard Sanford's voice lines in Project Nexus, he is a very expressive person.
-"She spilled my coffee","Let's go bozos", "Let's go chuckleheads", "Mmmm delicious" are some examples.
-You think it's JUST that?
-Nahhhh he has lots more.
-So much more that just makes you go "EUgh" and just wish he stops.
-What adds to the cringe is that his expression just doesn't match well with the situation.
-Seriously "Mmm yummy" when an intruder is near?

DEIMOS
-You know that dad keeps up with the trends?
-But does that miserably and makes himself look ridiculous?
-That's him.
-Even though absolutely no one does it anymore.
-He still dabs.
-Dad jokes.
-Dad jokes galore.

AUDITOR
-He didn't really spend time with you when you were younger due to work.
-Resulting that he still treats you like a baby even when you already grew up.
-The shame adds up when it's in public.
- You got a slight fever?
- Auditor:O V E R R E A C T I O N
E X C E S S I V E CARE
-"Dad it's alright I can do this by myself"
"You don't have to do that dad"
-Still calls you that nickname you got called with as a kid.
-"Dad I'm too old for to be called that."

TRICKY
-He's insane, but you're used to that.
-Though there are times you need to control him.
-"No. Dad. No! You can't just kill that grunt"
-Sometimes you have to pull him away before he could start a massacre.

PHOBOS
-Flashy and showy even when inappropriate.
-Going to a parent conference? He will attend in ✨G L A M O U R✨
- Drop you off somewhere? Sure, in a limousine.
-For every time he will drop you off somewhere a different damn car is used.
-The things he buys are branded. Even though it's unnecessary that it's branded.
-Pen? Toilet roll? Fuck it. Branded.
-"Dad it's just a pen"
-"Dad I can just take the bus"
-"You're overreacting you don't need to be that dressed!"
-Sometimes you have to apologize for your dad because of his pride and narcissism.
-"Ma'am/ Sir my dad didn't mean any of those"

SHERIFF
-He's much braver now.
-But you can see straight to that facade and see his cowardice.
-Sheriff: YOU WANT TO FIGHT?
*slips on a bullet-proof vest*
-You in the corner:"Hold on, I have to stop dad before he gets himself in trouble"

MAG AGENT TORTURE
-Crocs with socks
-And shorts
- You can't really complain though, his magnified form is a hassle and that type of clothing is the only comfortable attire he can ever have.
-Since he's huge, those hairy legs are in HD when you see it.
-Just two pillars of skin and hair.
-Ah what a sight. 

If your dad is 2BDamned or Jebus you're lucky. You don't have to worry about a damn thing.