John Murphy ♡ one shots

Warrior

A/N 

Imagine is from: Inmyownlaine on tumblr

Warnings: implication of anxiety attack, disassociation

For everyone who is having a shitty day, you are worth it, I love all of you who read this and/or vote for my story Luv yall <3

A tear rolled down your cheek as you stared out at the starry sky. You wiped it away roughly and let out a defeated sigh. It was another late night for Murphy. He was off saving your people while you were stuck here, planting seeds in the ground.

Feeling worthless was an understatement. It was one thing to compare the importance of your job to his. It was a whole different game when you realized how capable the girls surrounding him were. Those girls were tough, headstrong warriors. You were nothing but a timid farmer.

The door creaked open and your muscles tensed at the sudden movement. You didn't want Murphy to see you like this. Even though he was no stranger to self depreciation, you never wanted him to know your internal conflicts. It made you feel weak. Warriors aren't weak.

Murphy bounded into the room, slinging his backpack onto the floor. His boots were caked with mud while his clothes were clinging to his body. It was a good look on him, you had to admit. A look that everyone else got to see before you.

"Hey," he greeted happily, giving a goofy smile. You raised your eyebrows in response and attempted to smile back. You meant for it to be subtle, but Murphy quickly noticed something was off. His mouth dropped to a frown as he leaned against the wall to take off his shoes.

"What's the matter?" Murphy asked.

"Nothing," you mumbled.

Murphy clicked his tongue as he took his gun out of the holster. He checked the barrel and then discarded the clip, setting the components on the nightstand. It was something you had asked him to do when you first started dating. You weren't comfortable around loaded guns. Not with everything that you had been through.

"Well I know that's a lie." Murphy's eyes darted towards you for a reaction. He didn't know that you caught the minute movement out of the corner of your eye. It pushed you to remain silent. You continued pretending like there wasn't an issue.

Murphy let out a sigh as he sat beside you on the bed, legs hanging over the edge. He placed a gentle hand on your knee and shook it. This gesture, although meant to be comforting, brought back a sting of tears. You blinked furiously and buried your face in the crook of your elbow.

"Y/N," Murphy cooed. "I'm sorry I was late. I know it makes you nervous when I'm gone so long."

"Thank you," you mumbled. You really did mean it. Late night patrols were awful for your anxiety. You laid in bed, wondering if Murphy was still alive. Sometimes he would have to stay over for someone else's shift. There was no way for him to relay that to you.

"Trust me, I've yelled at like- everyone. Be there on time. It's not that hard."

"You're right."

"Tell me something I don't know," he said cheekily, pursing his lips together and shaking his head towards you. Even though you didn't feel much like laughing, this got a giggle out of you. Murphy could be such a dork sometimes. In dark moments like this, you were especially thankful for that.

"Y/N?" Murphy placed his hand over yours and gave it a stern squeeze. You looked at him quizzically in return. "You did the thing again. Staring off."