John Murphy ♡ one shots

Cheater

A/N This is rather espresso depresso, but not everything needs to be rainbows and cupcakes right?

You just had a fight with Murphy, he had been acting strange for a couple of weeks now and you grew frustrated. He was being secretive and would barely spend time with you.

"You keep acting like if you let down your guard, the world will end John!" Was the last thing you said to him, he stormed out of your tent and you hadn't seen him since.

You started to get worried about him, he never left like that. He didn't say anything, or did anything, he just stared at the ground. It wasn't like him, Murphy was never the one to be quiet in an argument.

You finally left your tent after a couple of hours, realizing that he wasn't coming back. 

"Hey, have you seen Murphy? I can't find him." You asked Octavia. She snuck out of camp every chance she got, so if anyone knew where he was, it would be her. "No sorry, haven't seen him."

You started asking around, and no one had seen him. Now panic really started to set in, you were walking through every row of tents when you spotted Bellamy yelling at someone.

"Why did you do it Murphy! Why did you have to ruin it, you finally had something good going for once!"

You didn't know what was going on and you were especially confused on why Bellamy was livid with Murphy.

"Go float yourself, like you would understand Bellamy!" You heard Murphy yell right back.

"Yeah, you're right! I don't fucking understand why you would cheat on her, I don't!"

Your heart dropped, you felt like your entire body was about to collapse. He cheated. You didn't even know if they noticed you'd heard. But what hurt so bad was knowing even if Murphy saw you walk away, no matter how slow you went, he would never run after you.

You went back to your tent. You felt so stupid, how did you not notice? He was always quiet, would never spend time with you anymore, was always back late at night...

You sobbed for what seemed like forever, even when the tears stopped coming. Why would he do this? You felt like his Achilles heel, his weakest point. So instead of someone using it against him, he did it himself. He turned you against him. Why? You had no clue.

It had started to get dark and you heard someone rustling outside your tent. Murphy. You stopped crying a while ago, you realized there's no point in crying over someone when he sure as hell would never do it over you.

The flap of the tent opened and he didn't even look at you. He just sat down on the bed beside, quiet as always.

"I know." You softly whispered.

"Know what?"

"Please, don't make me say it. I heard your conversation with Bellamy." 

He didn't even react, that's how you knew for sure. He really cheated, he really just used you and for what? 

"Tell me I'm wrong, tell me that I just heard it wrong Murphy!" You sobbed, you broke down all over again.

"But you didn't..."

"How long"

"Y/N..."

"Just answer the fucking question," You're voice trembled, "How long."

"Does it matter?"

"Yes it does!" You screamed at him, "Did this not mean anything to you? Did I not mean anything to you?"

"Of course it meant something!"

"Then why did you do it! Why did you ruin it, why did you shatter my heart into a million pieces!" You sobbed uncontrollably, your voice trembling with sorrow and heartbreak.

He didn't answer. He just kept staring at the ground like none of it mattered, like he couldn't care less.

"Why Murphy!" You asked him once again, tears streaming down your face while there was still no readable emotion on his.

"I don't know..." 

"That isn't good enough, you're breaking my heart John. I never did anything else but love you but I think I know why you did it, I wasn't enough for you, I think you've made that clear." This time your voice sounded crystal clear with not a single pause.

"Say you never loved me. Say it." You ordered him. Anger started to take over and you felt sick to your stomach by looking at him.

"I can't do that, because I do love you." He said as he finally looked you in the eyes. You saw a tear stream down his face and that did it. How did he have the nerve to cry right now when he's the one who fucked things up?

"You know what? Go float yourself, everyone was right about you and I should've listened! Get away from me!" You screamed at the top of your lungs, "I wish I never fucking met you, I don't who you are anymore!" Anger was boiling inside of you.

After he left, you did too. You couldn't stand to look at the place where you lived together, the place where he first told you he loved you. The irony in it, is that he was the first to say it. Probably bullshit too.

You went to Bellamy's tent and didn't need to say anything. He saw your red puffy eyes and just opened his arms.

"The worst part of all of this is that I still love him, and I hate myself for it." You told him as he hugged you close. Murphy was the reason of your smiles, never knew he would be the reason of your tears too.

They say to follow your heart, but if your heart is in a million pieces... which piece do you follow?