Fall For Me

23

EDITED

23

Three days.

It's been three days since Jackson cheated on me.

Dylynn has been a surprisingly great, supportive friend and it's been really helpful as I have tried to get myself back on track.

That was until the school decided to have a memorial for Claire. They asked me and Josh to write and read a eulogy for her, I couldn't say no, of course. Claire would've done it for me, no matter how hard it would've been.

"I'm going over to Josh's." I informed Dylynn. Josh's dorm was just down the hallway from Jackson. My main goal was to not run into Jackson and get to Josh's as easily as possible.

Making it into Josh's dorm wasn't too hard, but I would still have to make it out alive as well. I knocked on Josh's door twice before allowing myself inside.

"Good morning, Jaycee." Josh said, giving me a small smile and hugging me briefly.
Josh and I had always been exceptionally close, but we've grown ever closer since the incident that occurred.

There were papers everywhere. I instantly became stressed from merely looking at all of it.

"What is all of this?" I knew he took a lot of notes for what he's majoring in, but this appeared to be a little too much.

"Schoolwork, eulogy, and baby work."

"Did you decide what you wanted to name her?"

"I wanted to name her Claire or Clarissa, but her mom thinks it'll effect the future relationship between her and I. So, I remembered how she named our sack of flour from parenting class in 10th grade Bobbi."

What Claire's mom said made sense. I've read in books that father's that have a child with a deceased mother often go through a lot, like emotionally, for the rest of their lives.

"Bobbi?"

Josh shrugged with a smile, "It's different, but it's fitting. It's something Claire would do."

"So Bobbi. What's her middle name?"

"Bobbi Claire Evans-Marcus." Josh recited, giving me her whole name. I found it sweet he was giving her Claire's last name too.

I sat down on the couch and stared at the coffee table piled with papers. "You've got a lot going on." I observed.

Well, gee, Jaycee, good job stating the obvious.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked quietly, staring at a picture of Claire and Josh he had on top of his TV that was from their graduation, judging by the cap and gown.

"Yea, I sort of." He replied. "I'm going to counseling. My mom suggested I do it for a few months until I'm back on my feet, you know?"

I nodded, showing I understood.

"Now how have you been? What with losing Claire and Jackson both in the same month."

"I talked to my roommate about everything and I've been doing better since I have a girl friend to go through it with."

I stayed with Josh, deciding to help him straighten up his dorm. We caught up in the process too.
Apparently, Bobbi wasn't going to be able to come home until she was steady, being born 4 months premature, which they said would probably be August.
This also meant that Josh wasn't reenrolling for fall. He said he'd rather just take a year of college off to take care of Bobbi.

I was bummed he wasn't reenrolling, but I remembered how I wasn't planning on it either. Not here, with Jackson. Not here, constantly remembering Clarissa. California wasn't my happy place anymore.