The Scars of a Loyal Traitor

Valinor (Again)

Weekend update, as promised ;)


The hand squeezed around my neck like a claw. In instinct, I kicked out but there was no air in my lungs and my head began to fizz like churning water. I tried crying out but the hand was too tight around my neck.
"Curse you!" I gurgled. Then, I died.

I was walking on air. It was warm and soft like clouds. It tasted sweet and comforting as I remembered what had happened to me. I winced and tried to push it away. I walked through Valinor in bare feet but my body was covered in a plain silk dress. I could see figures walking around but they were oblivious to me. I could hear their content chatter but when I yelled out I couldn't tell if the sound left my mouth. I heard crying that sounded familiar and I ran through the air to followe it. Celebrian was running through the city tears running down her face and her eyes red and puffy. She ran to the beach stood on the sand, crumbling under the weight of grief.
"My Children." She sobbed. "My beautiful children" I wondered if she was thinking about me. I sat down beside her and reached her hand. Despite her being oblivious to my presence she almost calmed a little.
"I told them. I told them." She muttered. "But they didn't listen. They NEVER listened" She told herself before sobbing again.
"It was my fault." I told her. "I tried to save people and it always ended in disaster. But they are alive. All your children with Elrond are captive." She stared out to see as if she could hear me.
"The living, should not be around the dead." Said a voice behind me. I spun around,
"Gandalf? You can see me!"
"Dear Elinor, my dear Elinor." He said leading me down the beach away from my mother.
"I failed Gandalf." I said. "And now it's over."
"You died well." He said, a linger of amusement in his voice. "A good death is always the best way to finish the circle."
"I left the others on their own." I said miserably.
"Do you wish you could return?" He asked.
"Yes!" I said immediately.
"You have been considered to live again." He said. My mouth fell open.
"It takes great power to receive life but I think you could do it." He said confidently.
"Yes. I can" I said quickly.
"But, the price you pay if you can't is worse than death." He said.
"Mithrandir. I have no choice." I said seriously.
"I understand." He said softly.
"Gandalf, I need to go back," I said firmly. "I will not let Elladen, Elrohir, and Arwen suffer further."
"Elinor, you need to rethink. You got yourself caught last time. You need enough power to overthrow Morgoth for just a few minutes at least to free them. But the battle looms on the day after tomorrow. If you go back you have to decide." He said gravely.
"I don't have that power," I muttered. Gandalf smiled slyly.
"There is ancient magic of the Valar. Each would donate a fragment of the powers to one soul."
"You're saying they would do that to me?" I asked, excitement rising in my throat.
"If you survive the process then...then-" He stammered. "You would be one of the most powerful beings to walk the earth." There was silence as the waves lapped at the sands.
"I could defeat Morgoth?" I asked timidly.
"Perhaps," He said. I bit my lip.
"They would have to trust me a lot to do this."
"Very much," Gandalf said. "They fear you would use it to seek dominion over Middle Earth."
"I would never!" I exclaimed.
"Your father's blood runs through your veins. You have a ring of power, no more than an ornament now but they know you are impulsive. They know you have been in the company of the dead for most of your life. They also know you are smart and kind and skilled and loyal but-"
"Bad traits always overrule the good ones." I finished. Gandalf said nothing.
"I wish this never happened. I wish I hadn't stood up and agreed to be the captain of the Valar. I wish I didn't care for the free people of middle earth. Every time I have tried to save them I've always hurt the people I want to protect. And I wish the prophecy never existed. I don't want to fall to the power of once was." I blurted. Gandalf stayed silent.
"I want to go back," I said again. "Gandalf, I need to," I said tears welling in my eyes. They had resided there a lot lately. Finally, Gandalf spoke.
"Come with me, Elinor. Tell them what you just told me." I blinked my tears away and began to walk with him in silence. Finally, I thought of something to ask him.
"Is my body with me here or am I dead in Minas Morgul?" Gandalf chuckled.
"The Latter." He replied.
"Oh," I said as we walked into the great hall of the Valar. The outside was built of stone and was calved into the side a stone mountain the interior was beyond beautiful. There was no ceiling despite there appearing to be one on the outside. The walls were covered in vines blooming with flowers and in the middle was a circle of stone chairs, similar to the ones in the Govvenath, but the 14 figures who sat on them radiated power.
"Thank you Mithradir, but you may leave." Gandalf hesitated before nodding firmly and thanking them, leaving me in the middle of the circle of their piercing eyes.