A Two Year Desire

Chapter Fourty Seven

Adelina

We laughed as if it was our last time, he was like a flame just sparkling on my darkness. He was that ray of sunshine that everyone needed in their life he might not be the biggest softy to the open world but man that boy is the most careless idiot person I have ever been with.

We laid down on his bed which this is my second time ever been in, the first time was when we couldn't do it in my house because of some party my mom planned. She always loves doing gatherings at the house even though she doesn't even live there but she wants to show everyone else that she's better than them like always.

He massages my head as he plays with my hair at the same time while I lay on his lap just looking at him, I could watch him try and dry up the ocean and I still would be amazed. His brownish eyes they are that perfect brown that just attracts your attention and you never want to look away from you can stare at them for hours and just smile pure adoration are shown in them they pretend to be strong for the outside world but they aren't, they're more than that. He's more than that . His matching brow hair falling on his forehead perfectly landing by his full  brows that are just so perfect. I wonder who is his eyebrow person? His hair fluffy as I imagine clouds to feel it has a slight curl to it no doubt form all the hoods he wear all day.

I look down from his head to his face again. Skin that changes depending on the season during the fall it's the color of always a burnt caramel like tone while in the summer he always carries a pinkish like color burn on the top of his nose no doubt from spending all that time under the sun but no sunscreen is worn. Acne scars from back in middle school but that cured over time his small birthmark on the side of his cheek that just makes him. Him.

His dimples that show each time those perky white perfect teeth and rosy lips smile, and that Laugh. Man that laugh that is deep scarred into my brain and soul. He might not be the most perfect person in the world but in my eyes he is. He's more than perfect.

"What?" He laughs caressing my lap as I lay on him just watching his dimples come into his face "Nothing" I shrug poking them.

"You have something in mind" I poke them again "You're just really pretty" he looks shocked by the compliment "Pretty?" I nod "Something wrong?" He shakes his head

"Just surprised that's all I just never been called that it's something you call a girl"

"A compliment doesn't have to be gendered only because it sounds feminine doesn't mean it is" I might say a bunch of dumb shit all the time but this time is the only time I agree with myself only because a word sounds 'girly' it doesn't mean you can only say it to girls they have no other compliments other than handsome. Mathias is very handsome no doubt in that but he deserves more.

"My dad used to say that if a girl ever compliments you it means that they want something in you it's your appearance that draws them in to get to know you and it's personality that makes them stay"

"That's good advice" He nods "Yeah he was a really good man you know sometimes" I get confused and sit up.

"Can you elaborate you don't have to but I'm just curious" He nods pulling me in by my waist and ass not as a sexual manner but as a physical love touch manner. "He's a smart man he's always been there hasn't not one thing he's ever failed at, star football captain back  in high school top at his class at Yale and now biggest entrepreneur in history he's a great man I can't complain about that but-" he pulls me closer than I already in but I don't think he realizes it he's looking up at his ceiling.

"As a dad and husband it's a whole different thing from the actual real world yeah what a good man but he's stressed all the time trying to keep the act I guess." He looks down to me before looking back up as he settles his head on the cushion headboard he has.

"One night he was out for a while it was almost morning he finally came home I was worried of course my mom was on a business trip for the week so he had to be in charge of me but I was alone for half the day since he never showed up or picked me up from school he made up some excuse he was out doing errands and when 10 year old me heard that I knew automatically it was complete bullshit so I ran up to him and told him that he could've at least sent someone to pick me up that many people work for us might as well use them for something" he laughs at the memory

"I shit you not he grabbed me by my collar nails deep into my throat and looked me dead in then eyes and told me that he wished my mom never actually had me" he looks from the ceiling down to meet my eyes once again I squeeze his hand I've been holding so he knows I'm there for him.

"I can almost still smell the alcohol reeking from his mouth it was like he had dipped himself in a whole tub of it from the night after it was like something switched in him that he got violent everyday since then on he always came home full of alcohol in his system I used to hide away in the room hoping and sometimes praying that he wouldn't hit me that day I used to take them each night afraid that sometimes he would get tired of me and he would take it out on my mom and I just couldn't let that happen" he lifts up his shirt showing his six pack but points to a scar on his hip I never actually paid close attention to it I've seen it before but thought it was maybe one of the injuries he got from football years ago.

"Did he ever? Hit her I mean" I ask uncertain I should even be asking something. "Yeah, it was when I left to football camp he needed his punching bag and I wasn't there so he got her" a tear falls from him shattering my heart for him. I've never actually seen him cry ever since we became teenagers it's like he became a whole different person and had no more feelings but I guess you become numb after years of assault.

"I wasn't there lin I could've helped her I could've done something" he drops his hands to my hips and his head on my shoulder as I straddle him holding him. I didn't know what to do or say so I don't I just hold him and care for him like I know is would want to be treated.

After a few hours we're back to cuddling but this time he's on my lap while I'm by the head board he calmed down after the told me some more bits of what happened and it was so detailed that I cried a couple of times he went to so much pain dealing with that for years and he couldn't fight back because he never thought to touch his dad he would rather take the abuse than hurt him because no matter what that's his dad.

My heart broke for him, he might seem like an egotistical guy that is full of cocky attitude but he's much more than that he's delicate and caring.

That's what makes him the boy I love.