A Two Year Desire

Chapter Fourty Nine

Adelina

Eli and I had just started to hang out again ever since that night I met him, now that I think about it that night was actually a big day in my life. I was on the verge of letting myself drown even though I knew how to swim the pool wasn't so deep. I was so close I could've done it if I chose to, nothing was stopping me from achieving it. I was not in the right mind. I could have chosen to let my best friends and Eli see me dead in my own backyard in my own pool.

The trauma I would've given poor Eli and I had just met him a few hours ago too. Crazy bitch.

"I had no Idea we all just jumped in after you" Eli says after I tell him. I'm not saying this for him to feel bad, I'm reaching out to him since I'm basically alone now. Everyone left for college last night. It was hard for me to see Nico leave after years of spending every waking day with him but he had to leave.

On the other hand I did end up hearing from Mathias and once again my heart had shattered. It was like a weakly put back glass cup but it still managed until he picked it up with abtion and let it drop.

"That was almost my last night too you know" Eli confesses his hands are holding onto the coffee mug he's holding as if he's afraid to let go. Im left speechless as he can tell "That night a the gym I was exhausted and not because of the workout I was done with everything really"

"How come?"

"My mother and father had passed away two weeks before I couldn't process it well so turned to going to the gym and alcohol sometimes even drugs to get it off my mind but that night I choose to go to the gym before attending to a frat party with my friends before but I saw you I will admit I was only thinking about a hookup but that quickly escaped my mind" He looks up to me, I drop my hand to his.

"If I hadn't hanged out with you and your friends I could have been in the car with nine drunks that had a terrible accident and now one is paralized when I heard the news the first person I thought about was my best friend who was always with them too I just thought to myself how horrible it would be to lose him too I wouldn't be able to handle it but it turned out he didn't go because he was to busy trying to contact me if I was with the guys."

He takes hold of my hand

"It was thanks to you" he smiles

"Me?" He nods "If I wasn't with you my friend and I would probably be out with those guys maybe even dead already, so yeah you thank you." I smile "I'm so sorry for your losses"

"No need I learned to manage the damage" He gives me a sad smile in return "Look my whole point in my story is that no matter what you're going through is that there is always going to be something or someone that will not let you go not yet maybe even ever."

"Maybe" I repeat "Now enough with the sappy stuff tell me what's been going on" He tilts his head as if he's thinking "what about that guy"

"What guy?" I laugh sipping my tea who has now turned cold "Please I might be a guy but im not stupid I saw how you and Mathias looked at eachother that night"

"Ah so you remember his name why call him 'that guy'" He laughs "It's really mysterious I like it so sue me" I laugh

"Well there's nothing to tell really"

"How come?" I shrug "I thought there was a 'something' but he stood me up and I didn't even hear from him until last night" He gasps "Not once since?" I shake my head "We have a thing where he would call me each day and night just for no reason he would tell me about his day if we couldn't find the time to see each other and tell me about his day until we would both be too exhausted to speak that we would just stay on call."

"Let me guess nothing, nada" I nod

"How! I was rooting for you guys" I laugh "We said I love you"

"You love me?" We laugh "Jk I know you do"

"Anyways I never actually said it to anyone like ever and I felt so good after telling him It felt so right and I thought he meant it when he said it to me but I was mistaken"

"Don't beat yourself up he wasn't worth it"

"But he was" He shakes his head "If he was he would not be acting like how he is now enough about that jerk he can suck a dick" I laugh with him. For the rest of the time we just talk like we're old pals back in the day. He told me how he's not planning to go to college until next year and wants to take a gap year for traveling.

After Eli and I bid our goodbyes and I'm on my way to the house I get a text from my mom to come meet her at her apartment urgently.

"Mother?" I yell as I try to find her "Mom?"

"Lina?" I listen to the name I haven't been called since I was ten. "Look how much you've grown" he smiles as I turn to see his face. It's the man that left because he was too much of a coward. It's him who never cared for contact towards his kids because he had a new family, a family that didn't contain a broken girl and a drug addicted son or a workaholic wife, he had the perfect life now why return to the old broken one. "Does Nico know?" I ask my mom once she sits on the couch with a glass of red wine and her eyes look like they were crying for hours.

"No he just left to college I don't want to bother him" She says pouring herself more wine "But you have no problem telling me you know how great I would be if I didn't have to see him"

"Lin please im right here" he says once I turn around not wanting to see him.

"No your not if I look back at you, you will leave once again like everyone else" He reaches out to hold me but I step back "I won't leave"

"But I want you to you've done it before do it again"

"A, please let me be there for you I know what I did hurt but I'm here I really am I wanna be here now" He pleads "Don't you fucking get it? I don't want you to be here it doesn't matter if your here or not nothing matters because you will end up leaving me all alone again and I will have to deal with it all over again I don't want you fucking around I never did before and I as hell don't want you back now"

"Im your father i'm here I promise what I did was a mistake-" I cut him off "Stop saying that you are here you were never here and I was great I was fucking fantastic what you did was not a mistake it was choice you choose to do it and acted on it so don't come here telling me shit about you thinking it was a fucking mistake because you and I know that is not the case you left and didn't look back once"

"Lina" he scoffs "What? Am I wrong don't come here telling me sappy shit like Im here and I care for you or I thought about you everyday don't come acting like you are my dad when all you are right now is that your an annoying fuck in my mothers apartment trying to pretend your my father when you arent"

"I'm your father lina weather you like it or not" I turn to face his face, he hasn't aged a day like my mother his hair still looks the same other than the white hairs peeking through he looks like he used to yet so different, the guy before me is not my dad and never was. I take a step to meet his eyes hes slghly taller but I have heels on so im olny a few inches taller "Fuck you"

"Adelina" Mother yells as I walk through her doors but I don't look back because If I do I might just burst into tears.

I need someone but they're gone, Grace gone, Nico gone, Liam gone, Dyl gone, Max gone, Alex well she's going through too much right now and I can't bother her. The last person who I wished was my first well he's not an option as much as I wished he was.