A Two Year Desire

Chapter Fifty Three

Adelina

The house was never my home, it always felt like I was a visitor coming to the house that was supposed to be my home everyday after dance, after school. I was trapped but once the adults left the sky suddenly became more blue the grass was greener there was less and less gloomy days, A five story home finally became a home. But that was only because I wasn't alone for a while. Nico was there. Two months ago my other half left to school to fulfill his dream of becoming a big star in hockey. Even before he carried his own milk bottle on his own he was more known than any other baby but now he wants to try make it alone.

Yesterday night was hard it was our first birthday separated from each other we couldn't video call either since he had practice instead of waiting I blew out a cupcake candle and called it a night. I even felt too guilty to eat that cupcake without him. I tried I tried so hard to actually eat it or take a bite but I couldn't bring myself too he didn't though he was out partying with our friends even Mathias was there I saw a post where he was biting a cake without a single thought he looked so happy.

Is everyone way better without me there even my own half?

I leave to college in 17 hours and had the thought that if I was going to leave permanently this time I would maybe that to leave on good terms that way I wouldn't have to have a reason to come back. No one would be holding me back anymore.

I walked into my mothers rich apartment with every step hating why I came here. It was no way related to my mother she and I have always been on good terms it was him that I came here for. He made me hate my life after he left. He wasn't the reason for my mistakes in the past but maybe just maybe if he was there would I in the state im in right now.

My friends and brother don't seem to miss me not even for a happy birthday glad to know who was the favorite twin. The guy I love and hate moved to a whole other country (his parents told me)

"Lina" his croaky voice spoke. I finally turned to look at him for the first time and took a good look at the guy I used to call my dad my favorite man in the world. If I were to be around would I need validation? Would I need to know if someone actually loved me every second of the day if he was around and didn't leave? So many questions roamed around my mind I couldn't concentrate on his face.

He had purple bags on the bottom of his eyes but he still looked young like before. I remembered how this is the first time I have seen him calm and sober in years.

"Do you know how much it hurt when you left?" I spoke I had no tears in me they're all dried up. Two months crying straight it was bound to happen soon anyways. "Be honest with me how good was it when it was just you and we weren't around?"

"Good" He spoke, he wasn't lying but a part in me hoped he lied just this once. We sat in silence in my mother's white couch in silence until I spoke again.

"I got my heart broken did you know" He shakes his head at me "Three times only though. The most recent was two weeks ago I believe still processing the second was this guy freshman year I liked since elementary but I got over it with the third one oh but the first ever one though that one really did a number on me not just heartbreak" My father scoffs "Adelina"

"Now im not lina? what a great man you are aren't you? why come back? We did so great without you. Did you know mom left us and lived here a year after you left? we lived alone with a nanny until we turned 15 we wanted to talk to you but for years mom kept covering for you sayin you were on a business trip like always that trip took too long. until we got older and completely forgot we had a dad" He looked away from me to the window in front of us.

"I see you got your mother's attitude"

"Well yes seeming as that's the only parent I had" He scoffs once more, it's like that the only thing he can do "I was there"

"When? when I was born? No. Not even then were you there for us sure you are our father but where were you in those sleepless nights that Nico and I had to go through? where were you after Nico turned to drugs and became an addict? I was there always I slept next to him holding his shaking body as he tried to fall asleep without the thought of getting high each fucking second. You were not there when I cried myself to sleep hoping the next day would be better you weren't there when I just wanted a hug and no one was there. I had to see my Mother cry herself to sleep when I was ten! because you weren't next to her. "

"Im sorry"

"What is whith men and their sorries I don't need them understand that please!"

"I understand you're angry and frustrated but im right here now. I promise I won't leave I promise I'll be better Im sober and I still have managed to keep my industries I-" cutting him off I speak.

"That's all you ever cared for your industries of course you fixed them before coming here" I shake my head "This was a bad Idea" I gesture to in between us. Grabbing my bag I stand up but he catches my hand and wraps me around his embrace.

"Im here. I really am Im not leaving yes, I fixed them but it's the only thing that helps me and keeps me alive I hated my work but as I managed and understood it I learned to love it. Like you with dance"

Never in eighteen years would I have thought that I would be getting a hug from my dad I thought that after he left eight years ago I thought that was the time to move on from it. I didn't think I would see him ever again. I didn't think that I would smell his scent again.

"I missed you" I sob and unexpectedly so does he.

"I love you so much my little girl" And for the first time I actually felt that love.

"I leave for the university in a few over" I speak through sniffles "Yes, I know your mother told me but before tell me about this guy the little trouble maker who used to put gum in your hair what's going on" I laugh

"Mom told you?" He nods "She can never keep her mouth shut that woman can never work for the government" as if on time mom walks in with two bags giving my dad a cold hard stare.

I think she heard