Connected- Five Hargreeves x reader

Chapter 27: The Seven Stages...

I walked out to see Five rummaging through the fridge. He pulled out a jug of water and started chugging it.

"Five, what..." Luther walked in, "you okay?"

Five glanced at us while he kept drinking the water.

"Is he okay?" Luther asked me.

I shrugged.

Five puts the jug back in the fridge, "I'm gonna need to be hydrated."

"Hydrated?" Luther and I asked.

Five shut the fridge and walked over to the table and picked up some baby powder and started dumping it under his arms.

"What's with the baby powder?" Luther asked.

"It'll help with the itching," Five said.

"What itching? There's itching? What the hell is going on here?" Luther asked as Five started pouring the baby powder down his pants.

"You do have a plan!" Luther realized.

"Hell yeah he has a plan!" I said, "Although, I'm a little concerned now."

"Well, it's a desperation move, but..." Five picked up his jacket, "since our brain dead siblings are incapable of meeting a simple deadline, I got no choice."

"No choice about what?" Luther asked.

"I have to find myself," Five said as he swung his blazer over his shoulder.

Luther gave him a confused look as he pulled out his watch and looked at him, "I just arrived in Dallas fifteen minutes ago."

Five put his blazer on and started stretching.

"Should we be worried about you?" Luther asked.

"I'm not worried," I smiled.

"Luther, if you recall, I was sent to 1963 on a job by the commission to make sure the president was assassinated," Five said as he continued doing his stretching exercises.

"Oh! So, wait, your old self is out there," Luther said.

"Precisely," Five said.

"What, just walking around Dallas?"

"Walking around Dallas with a briefcase that can get us home," Five said.

"Oh, my God!" Luther said.

"No he gets it," I chuckled.

"Five, you're a genius!" Luther yelled.

"I said the same thing," I smiled, "of course, I said it first."

Five smiled at me before turning back to Luther, "However, there are two significant problems with this plan."

I froze, "hold on. Problems? Five you just say it was risky."

He came over and rubbed my arm, "I know... I'm sorry."

"What kind of problems?" I asked.

He sighed, "problem number one: I'm a trained assassin, arguably the most dangerous assassin in the space-time continuum. If I know me, I'm not going to react kindly to bumping into myself. Problem number two, and this his the real fly in the ointment here: You're not supposed to exist in close proximity to yourself in the same timeline. The side effects could be disastrous."

"Side effects? Five, you never said anything about side effects," I said.

"What sort of side effects?"Luther asked.

"Well, according to commission handbook chapter 27, section 3b, the seven stages of paradox psychosis are...1. Denial. 2. Itching 3. Extreme thirst and urination 4. Excessive gas 5. Acute paranoia 6. Uncontrolled perspiration and 7. Homicidal rage."