N. Chuuya X Fem! Reader: The Territory of Gravity

1 - Looking the Gift Tiger in the Mouth

"Oi, L/N-San, have you seen Dazai?" A stern voice asked.

You turned around to face the source, correcting your glasses.

"You know, Kunikida-kun, you should really learn to ignore his presence," you yawned. "But knowing Osamu, he'll probably be setting himself on fire or something."

"Then at least come with me, you seem to be the only one that can talk sense into him," Kunikida groaned, pulling you up.

You muttered under your breath in annoyance, but followed him down the stairs anyways.

"Why the hell is it this bright outside," you hissed, taking another pair of glasses out of your pocket.

While you were nearly blind, due to the years of training and using your ability, you were still extremely light sensitive. The solution to battle this tended to be black-out sunglasses, or simply not going outside. You chose the former, due to having a job that required external action. That's when you saw Dazai, standing on the other shore, clearly dripping as he spoke to a young boy with a strange haircut.

"Did you enjoy your swim?" You taunted, yelling across to him.

"Yes I did, thank you very much!" Dazai yelled back.

"So this is where you've been, you oaf?!" Kunikida spat out.

"Oh! Kunikida-kun!" Dazai grinned, waving over. "Thanks for coming!"

"You have subjected me to a great ordeal of grief today, you suicide-obsessed maniac!" Kunikida scolded. "Why must you always ruin my plans?!"

"Ah yes! I have a smashing idea, lad," Dazai grinned.

"The world must be ending!" You jeered.

"Shut up!" Dazai groaned in response.

"Don't ignore me, you!" Kunikida demanded.

Dazai ignored him.

"That is my coworker there, perhaps he can feed us!" Dazai suggested.

"Hey I want free food too," you cheered, clapping your hands in excitement. "What's the kid's name?"

"Nakajima Atsushi," he introduced himself. 

"Well Atsushi-kun, follow me," Dazai beckoned. "Tell me, what sort of food do you crave?"

"Uh well... Chazuke would be nice," Atsushi smiled.

Dazai immediately laughed at that, surprised that someone on the verge of death would want something so simple. Of course, since Chazuke tended to be cheap around here, Dazai immediately promised thirty bowls of it on Kunikida's card.

And that was how you ended up in a run down restaurant, with Atsushi wolfing down bowl after bowl of Chazuke, while you and Dazai shared a small plate of Katsudon. Kunikida wasn't particularly happy about the two of you feeding off his money, but then again, he wasn't pleased about feeding a stranger either.

"Lighten up, Kunikida-kun," you teased, snorting at your own pun.

"I will not be 'lightening up', L/N-San! We should be getting back to work, but instead, we're caught up here!" Kunikida spat out, turning to Dazai. "What kind of a sick creature thinks 'oh what a fine river' and jumps into it during work hours?! Look at what you've done, now we're far behind schedule!"

"You really love those appointment books, huh, Kunikida-kun?" Dazai drawled. 

"Oh boy, here we go again," you sighed.

"It's not an appointment book!" Kunikida yelled, slamming the book onto the table. "These are my ideals, the ones that guide my entire life!! And nowhere does it advise partnering with a suicide aficionado!!"