I hate your affect on me
I have to deal with myself, and that's barely manageable enough
Hurts my brain
Hurts my heart
Hurts myself
I hate my affect on me
Wish to get rid of it immediately
Put myself in a grave
Tired of them all calling me brave
I don't know to behave
Don't know if I want to die or be saved
Not in the worst of moods
But I definitely could be a lesser blue
Can't decide what to do
I want to please me
As well as you
Puts me at unease
I can no longer do it
In my schedule I have no time for this
I have a happier life to live
But this is not it
Tired of being the misfit
Cannot make this all fit
Dig my hole now
Toss me in the pit now
I just don't get how
People can have normal(-er) lives
Live without THIS much pain and woe
I just do not know
Googled some statistics (for my paper)
Average lifespan for BPD is 27 years (According to psychiatryadvisor)
and 10% of them commit suicide(according to ncbi-National Center for Biotechnology Information)
I don't think I can live to this completion
There's too much action for me to handle
I've burned to the end of the candle
I don't know how much longer I'll be able
to live this joke of a fable
I know He's got a plan
And I know I'm not meant to understand
But a gun, a noose, drugs, bleach all held in my hand
I just hope that I'm wrong
and that I can
That the risen sun isn't too bright in my eyes (TFIOS reference)
To myself I struggle to be kind
Againi and again, and again I'll try
But my emotions clash with my mind
I'm losing it
My touch with reality
I don't know what is, and what I feel, and what I think
Don't know what to make of anything
I feel too much of everything
I want to be done
I want to be undone
But I know that'll displease everyone
So here I'll stay
Just for one more day
YOU ARE READING
Random Poetry Collection
PoetryThis is a collection of bad poetry I've managed to compose through the slurs of ink we've come to know as letters we form into what we know as language. The '*'s indicate that this poem is a little on the sad/darker side.
