Random Poetry Collection

My Place

 Got the kettle going on

Heats rising in the air

Something I don't feel that I can do this with no confidence

But I have trouble seeing what's significant

Right in front of me

Right under my nose

I look outside as all the tulips grow and wither as one season ends and another one shall begin

Apparently, life is supposed to be adventurous and a joy to be appreciated, and that it is worth living for

If I just wait and experience the world a bit more/better

But who am I to say who is in the right and who is in the wrong

Just got to keep the story-line active and present

Don't need to stay in the unpleasantries I found myself stuck in

However, there's a good chance I will stay

Masochism and self-sabotage getting in the way

Darn cherophobia keeps joy at bay

Not that I'm a doctor, and am in the position to label what I have or don't have

But this cycle will not cease, it will last

Last and lingering forevermore.

Trying hard to not be such a pessimist

Or an opportunistic person

But it ain't flowing so smoothly across the stream I've pushed around in because of the current

I know I have to put some effort in,

but I wouldn't be mad if God positively interfered with the flow of the stream

Help me out here a little

In the small things, not just in the bigger picture

I mean I am grateful for what He's done so far on my life journey

I hope I don't wind up on another gurney

However, I cannot see the future 

I don't have the confidence or dedication, nor do I have the initiative to go too much further

As of right this moment, I don't want to end things sooner

Don't want to unalive myself, but do I really want to live it out?

I don't know

I cannot yet say

We'll have to find out another day

Or just find a different way someday.