Home. (L.N.)

22. Everything Needs To End

It's been a journey. A hard one for sure. But here we are again. Another final. This time I was prepared for everything. Turns out I was wrong all along. When I step out off the VIP area on the ranks the noise from the crowd overwhelmes me. I cover my ears needing a few moments to get used to it. It's even louder then all the games before at wembley. England really had the potential to win this whole thing at their home. When I called Mason this morning to wish him luck before the game I could feel his nervousness and excitement through the phone. But I also am happy that this journey is over tonight. Not touching him or have personal interactions for over a month was tough on us. On our relationship. He was always busy and focused, while I was trying to enjoy my summer as much as possible. I had too much time, so I started to thing about stuff a lot and doubt decisions I made. I am glad this will be over tonight and things go back to the crazy normal. A normal that is so far from normal, but I am ready to have him back. Maybe also with another title for him. Champions of Europe would sound dope to me. But actually I don't care at all, he would stay Mason whatsoever.

It was still a while till the opening ceremony, so I choose to go back inside, giving my ears a few moments of rest. It's incredibly loud out there. I always enjoyed the loud noises on track but this was another kind. This kind of type that hurts in my ears after a while. I sit down at a little table with a view over the pitch. Alone. Like most of the time. I wasn't integrated very well. Only Laurie was with me often. But she was running late like always. The VIP box is packed. So many important people, family and me. I feel like an alien. From time to time I notice looks from other on me. Let's say the press liked me in a way. They were interested in me and Mason, since it wasn't public that he and his Ex broke up. There are rumors out there that I teared them apart. But actually Chloe and I were cool with each other. We went on some walks together with Frida, because I missed the little one dearly. It was no weird experience, actually I like her a lot. She is a very sweet person, and stunning as well.
The vibration of my phone gets my attention. A message from Lando. "Hey. Are you at Wembley?" I raise my eyebrow. Why would he care? Is he interested in football and probably here? "Hi, yeah I am." I type. Next to me a group of woman sit down. All in very expensive dresses, probably wife's or girlfriends. I shake my head. I don't like the vibe here. I wish I could be in the tunnel or so to actually be with Mason. To see him, wish him good luck in person, but all I am doing right now is to drink wine and look pretty for the picture that the people outside taking of that girl who is apparently dating Mason Mount. "I am here with a friend, the wait is pretty boring. Would you like to meet up?" I smile at the text of Lando. It would be nice to see a familiar, friendly face in this environment. "Sure! Come to the VIP section I will wait in front of it." I reply. Probably not the best idea but everything is better then to be alone with all these people around. I get up from my seat and leave the area. Outside on the floor it was a different atmosphere. Loads of people were already drunk and in party fever. Chants are shouted and people with flags, kits and facepaint are running around. I stand close to the security guys at the entrance. It's not that I am scared of the crowd but definitely have massive respect. I look down at my phone. Lando read the message but didn't reply. "Anna" a breathless Laurie stands in front of me. "Hey Laurie. Late as ever?" I wink at her. "Very funny. I need a wine now. Why are you outside?" She tries to catch breath. "I am waiting for a friend." "Who?" she looks around as she  trying to recognize someone. "Lando" I say knowing her reaction. She freezes and slowly turns around. "I beg you pardon?" She doesn't even let me explain and goes into her investigationmode. "Why is he here? Is something going on between you two again? Are you sleeping with each other ?" "Laurie", I was shocked by her questions so my voice is high pitched. It hurts that she has these thoughts about me. "Anna, he is special to you. Mason can not keep up with him yet. It's reasonable." "I choose Mason. But I also want to try to get along with Lando like normal human beings. I actually don't know why he is here." I explain myself. "Hey", the quiet voice appears behind me. I turn around but not before giving Laurie a warning look. I can hear her sigh and walk off in my back when I lay my eyes on Lando. He looks gorgeous in his suit. Very classy and prince charming like. His hair is sleeked back with his curlers devined. His small cheeky smile on his face makes me feel better. Its good to have an honest human around in a world where it all seems so fake. Football is pumped with money, rich people and so much politics. It feels so cold. "Hi" I smile back feeling underdressed just in black jeans, sneakers and Masons England kit pulled into the jeans. His friend next to him is familiar as well. Knowing him from all the late night stalking on Landos social media accounts Max was no stranger to me. He also wears a suit and looks very smart. His eyes are warm brown and his smile is small but honest. Excitement is in their both eyes. As they should be about this grande final. As I should be. But I am more excited about getting out of here and spending time with Mason then to witness the game. "Hey I am Max. Lando's roommate and friend." "Pleasure. I am Anna." I shake his hand. "Oh believe me. I know" he laughs. I blush at the comment and look shyly to Lando. He blushes as well and tries to laugh it off.
"Excuse me?" A group of girls appears next to us. I expect they want something from the racedrivers but the eyes of girls lay on me. "Could we take a picture with you Anna?" a girl with long brown hair asks with a huge smile. I look at her confused, but quickly react. With a smile I nod "Sure" and the eyes of the girl shine bright. I look at Lando for help. His eyes lay on me and when he sees how overwhelmed I am with the attention he nods at me trying to reassure me that everything is alright. "Could you please take the picture?" the brown haired girl asks Max. He nods gently and takes the phone. The girls take me in their middle and smile at the camera without touching me. "Smile" Max laughs and presses the button a few times. When they turn towards me I realize they all wear Masons shirt. They thank me super politely and respectful. "No worries girls. Have a great time at the game." I wave them goodbye, just doing what Laurie always does. It is a strange feeling to be recognized. By the paparazzis alright, but not by young girls. "Seems like you are the most famous one here." Max smiles at me. I shrug my shoulder. "I don't know it was the first time. Very weird. I am not sure why tho" "Because you are the girlfriend of a very famous football player, Anna. They want to know who that person is. And you are pretty as well. They look up to you." Lando explains with a gentle smile. My heart warms at his words. He really thinks I am pretty. The redness of my cheeks return at his words." Not quite right. He is not my boyfriend." Landos eyebrow jumps in the air. He seems surprised. He shouldn't. He knows I will only have one partner in my whole life, we talked about it in Abu Dhabi. "Well whatever. They obviously think that." Max says. "I feel very underdressed" I try to change the topic and joke around. The two brits laugh and look down at themself. "We look quite sharp innit?" the sparkling eyes of Lando meet mine. I nod. "I agree." An awkward silence places over us. "I need the toilet excuse me for a moment" Max suddenly disappeares and leaves Lando and myself on our own. "You look very beautiful yourself" he whispers with a cheeky smile. "Please Lando don't." I feel the uncomfortable feeling approach my stomach. It was not right. This is basically Masons home and I was a guest. It is unfair to him. "No sorry Anna. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable." I nod not sure if I believe that. "Are you having a good evening so far?" he tries to keep up a conversation. "No" I shake my head in honesty. His eyes soften. "Why not?" "I don't like it here. It doesn't feel like a good place to me. It's different at the tracks, there it is like home and family." I haven't talked about this to anyone yet so to actually say it out loud felt good. But at the same time I feel bad, it's  Masons home and family and I don't like it, but he hopes and thinks I do." It will be over tonight", He tries to comfort me. "no", I shake my hand  "It is the sport. First it was amazing. Great atmosphere but it's not the same anymore to me. I feel lost." "Maybe it will came back over time." I shrug my shoulders "I hope so. It's not fair towards Mason" I whisper. At his Name Lando closes his eyes for a second. It hurt him. Still. "Sorry" I whisper. "No it's fine. It's your life now. And I don't have a place in it. I accept it." "It doesn't mean that you don't have place in my life. We can try to be friends."I say out. It was actually difficult to suggest what I wanted." Not at the moment Anna. I can't do it yet", his eyes avoid mine. It's hurtful and uncomfortable but I appreciate his honesty. "Alrighty.. Ehm I think we should head back the game is about to start. Lovely to finally meet you Anna" Max's is back next to us and winks at me as a goodbye. "Pleasure is all mine. Enjoy the game guys" Lando turns around without saying a goodbye and walks of with his best mate, who puts his arm around his shoulder. I can hear him say. "You alright Mate?" I look how they walk of with Lando shaking his head. He was not OK. And it's all my fault. Again. It hurts me also to see what I caused. I should've known better when I agreed to see him. I take a deep breath and blink away the water in my eyes." Two minutes Miss" the security informs me about the time before the opening ceremony starts when I walk back in. I nod with a fake smile. It's not possible for me to be happy right now. Not after that conversation. I order another glass of white wine before I enter the ranks, trying to find my place. At the first tone of the song I find my place next to Laurie. She checks on me with a serious look. I try to ignore her and focus while taking a huge sip of the wine. I need it for my nerves. "You alright sweety ?" she shouts in my ear against the loud noises of the crowd. I can't tell her the truth, because I made my decision a while ago. So the only right thing to do right now was to nod. And this is what I did. I don't care if she believes me or not because all I want to care about right now was this game.

What a disaster. The game is over. They lost. And the reaction by fans are disgusting. A few tears run down my cheeks seeing the pain in Masons face. All I want is to hug him. He gave absolutely everything. But in the end the dream of the title was over. Everything Needs to end. But this end marks also the end of us being apart. We will spend more time together. It is my job now to bring him back to happiness. Maybe he doesn't want to attend Silverstone anymore and we could avoid a meeting with Lando . It would be a blessing in my eyes. But right now I just walk through the tunnels of the stadium on my way to finally close him into my arms. Laurie walks next to me in silence. It hit her quite hard as well. She was very emotional during the whole game. I take her hand and smile at her softly again. "The boys need us now." she whispers. I nod understanding what she meant. We follows other wags till we finally reach the cabin from the guys. We wait in a room close. After a while we are allowed to go an the pitch. The Italiens are already gone, as well as most of the supporters. Just a few people are still standing in the stands. And the most of the England players sit on the grass in silence. It was a heartbreaking situation. When I approach Mason he doesn't even looked up at me. I knee down next to him and close my arms around him trying to give him some sort of comfort. I don't even find the right words for him. I think there are none so all I do is to hold him with my head resting on his shoulder. Little did I know that the big screens showing our intimate moment to all the remaining people in the stadium. Also  two young brits watch the scene on the screen and one of the hearts of them both break even a little more.

***

Hey peeps, I hope you liked this one!