Pain

Healing

"Well, I really have to say, Logan, I'm impressed. You can clearly see that you're making progress," Dr. Richards noted when he and Logan met again for one of their sessions.

"Thanks, sir. The training helps. Ben also gave me some tips on exercises I can do in the evening so I can fall asleep more relaxed. It works pretty well," Logan said, who by now you could tell that he was training regularly.

"No nightmares anymore?"

Logan hesitated. "Sometimes they come back. But in the beginning it was much worse than now."

The therapist nodded. "You know, Logan, when I first saw you, in the hospital, I-"

"Saw a weak boy who was broken inside?" Logan asked bitterly.

"No," Dr. Richards said in a soft voice, "I saw a boy who needed help. And now, after nearly sixteen weeks, I see a young man who is able to get his problems under control. I've seen how you have changed in the last few weeks, how you have become stronger. So I feel now is the time to show you two things that will help you understand your real problem."

"Understand my real problem?" Logan repeated in disbelief. "Dr. Richards, my only problem was - and is - Charles. Nothing else."

Dr. Richards nodded. "Don't worry; I'll explain it to you. But first..."

Logan watched the therapist get up, go to his desk, open a drawer, and take something out. Then he went back to his chair and placed an object on a small table in front of Logan. Confused and curious at the same time, Logan picked it up. It was a black notebook with a Roman one in white on the back. He looked at Dr. Richards. "What's this?"

"I think it could be described as a journal. It belonged to your stepfather."

As if he had suddenly burned himself on it, Logan dropped the book. "What?"

"It's not a normal journal, though. He... he wrote everything down in these books that he did to you. It was written down to the last detail and in a way that lacks any measure of humanity."

"In these books..." Logan whispered in horror, staring at the Roman one with an icy chill. "How... how many of these... these journals are there?"

"A lot. The police found them in his office in your former home. And when the case was closed I asked if I could have them."

"Why would you do that?"

"I thought if I read these books it would be easier for me to help you. And I know there are some things that you haven't told me yet. But that's okay. Maybe one day we'll talk about these things. But first I would like to show you two entries from this book."

Logan looked at the black book. Should he really do that? Well, he wanted to learn how to get stronger and deal with difficult situations. This was another step he had to take if he ever wanted to go home. He took a deep breath. "All right. Do it."

Dr. Richards nodded, took the book from the table, and opened one of the first pages. Then he handed it back to Logan and said, "Would you please read this entry?"

Reluctantly, Logan leaned forward and read:

"Joanna told me about her dead husband today. He died in a plane crash. But that's not the reason why I'm writing this. No, the interesting part about this story is that the boy blames himself for his father's death. Joanna asked me to always remind the boy that it wasn't his fault at all and to help him get over it. Oh yes, I'll remind him, she can count on that. But maybe this will turn out differently than she expected..."

Logan stopped as the urge to vomit grew stronger. But he resisted the impulse and looked Dr. Richards in the eye. "I don't understand..."

The therapist nodded, picked up the book, leafed through it again, and finally handed it back to Logan. "Please read this entry here. Then I'll explain it to you."