Pain

Saturday

When Logan woke up the next morning, he felt something he hadn't felt in a very, very long time: inner peace and warmth. He opened his eyes and saw the person responsible for his inner state of happiness. Camille was asleep, but Logan didn't mind. So he finally had the opportunity to watch her and to think about her. At the same time, he wondered if it was actually okay to watch her sleep, or if the whole thing didn't seem a bit spooky. He had to admit that it had been easier in his past, because back then he didn't have to worry about such things. Either he hadn't stayed the night at all or he was leaving as soon as he woke up. He knew he could have any girl as a girlfriend. But this had never been his desire . . . or was it? And then Camille had stepped actively into his life and turned it completely upside down. He had never planned to fall in love. At that time it had just been too dangerous. She had seen the situation he was in with her own eyes, she even had to experience it firsthand. And yet she stayed by his side, no matter how many times he tried to keep her away. For so long he had suppressed and denied his true feelings for her, hoping that he could protect her and keep her safe. He had failed. But she was still with him, right now, in this very second. And now it was no longer his job to protect her - at least not in the first sense - but to be a good boyfriend to her. This scared him even more. It would only take one small mistake and it would all be over. He knew Camille had trouble trusting him around other girls. He couldn't blame her for that. But even if he was absolutely sure that he would never cheat on Camille, simply because he was no longer interested in other girls, he was terrified that it could still happen anyway. Or would he hurt her in some other way by doing or saying something else stupid? Those thoughts were poison. He knew he wasn't allowed to think them, but once again these harmful thoughts had found a back door and destroyed the inner peace he had felt when he woke up. Fear and worry had gained the upper hand once again. Now he had two options to fight back. He could write down whatever was on his mind, or . . .

Camille's hand automatically reached for Logan, but his side of the bed was empty. She straightened up and her slight disappointment immediately turned to joy when she spotted Logan on the carpet doing push-ups, shirtless. Without letting him know that she was awake, she watched him for a while with a slight smile. "Well, that's a really great sight in the morning."

Logan didn't stop what he was doing, but he smiled. "Yeah, I thought you would like that."

"But I have to say I'm a bit surprised that you still feel the need to do your exercises."

"Why . . . is . . . that?" Logan asked, doing a push-up with every word. Camille smiled. "Because I thought I've worn you out so much last night that you wouldn't have to do any more training for at least two months."

Logan stopped moving and looked up at her. Camille could clearly see the mischievous expression on his face. "Oh yeah?" In one quick movement he was back in bed, propping himself up so his body was bent over hers. "So you're saying that as long as I have you, my workouts are unnecessary?"

Camille nodded. "Yup."

Logan smirked. "Well, I guess I'll have to find another activity to get fit and fresh in the morning then."

"And what will that be?" she asked with a not entirely innocent smile, already suspecting where and how the whole thing would end.

"One or two things come to mind," he replied, stroking her arm with one finger.

"Still not enough?" she teased him.

He laughed. "Enough of you? Never."

Halfway through breakfast, Kiara asked, "Do you think they are coming down today?"

Dave put down his newspaper and smiled. "If they get hungry, they'll show up."