Pain

Right Or Wrong Thoughts?

Logan (drunk)

"Are you kidding me? My friend told me you were the best in bed, but it looks like she lied to me."

The girl with the red hair gets on my nerves. Nevertheless, I stay where I am. After all, it's my fault that I find myself in this situation. After I ran away, I found refuge in a bar. It doesn't matter that I'm not allowed to drink. If you know the right place, everything is fine. After a few - or many - drinks, this red-haired girl came to me and asked me if I would like to come with her. I don't know why I said yes. In any case, I already regret it.

She's been trying to get me aroused for over twenty minutes now, but it doesn't work. Normally, I never have trouble "impressing" girls. But since I've known Camille ... Camille ... Damn it. Why does she have such power over me? She's just some girl, right? A girl with whom I hardly ever changed a word until a few weeks ago.

And now I wish she would here instead of the red-haired girl. Then it would be her hands that would touch my body ... her lips that would make me forget everything ... her body that would drive me crazy ...

"Ah ... now we are getting somewhere."

"Shut up. I don't want to hear a single word from you," I say, panting. She looks anything but offended. She even grins mischievously. "Okay ... if you like it this way ..."

I close my eyes. My hand touches her hair. It's a bit curly, but not as curly as Camille's hair. And again, I can't help but think of her. Her dark brown curls, in which I could bury my face while my breath caressed her neck. Then I would kiss her neck down to her collarbone. Again I would hear her soft moaning, but this time I wouldn't stop. Yeah ... I would do all these things and much more. I would give her the most absolute satisfaction until ...

"Wow ... Okay, my friend was right. You really are the best."

I open my eyes, look at her confused. "Did you ...?"

She nods. "Oh yes ... And it was one of the best experiences I've ever had."

"Did I ... come too?"

She grins mischievously again. "Yes, pretty hard. Apparently I'm turning you on, aren't I?"

The sudden realization that hit me at this moment makes me sober again in one fell swoop. All the things I fantasized about, I actually did them ... but not with Camille. Nausea and self-loathing spread in me. Without saying a word, I dress and walk towards the door.

"Will you call me?"

"No," I answer coldly and leave the room.

Monday

Miss Collins sits at her desk. When I knock on the open class door, she raises her head and looks at me in surprise. "Logan, what can I do for you?"

I go inside, close the door and lean against one of the tables in front of the desk. "I'm here to ask you to give Camille another project partner. It just doesn't work with the both of us."

"I don't understand ... I thought..." She is quiet for a brief moment, then she says in a friendly tone, "Has anything happened between you and Camille? Maybe we can sit down and try to sort it out."

I shake my head. "There is nothing to sort out. Please just do it."

She hesitates. "But if I put Camille in another group, what about you?"

I shrug.

"Logan ... This project is your last chance. If you don't take it seriously, I'm afraid you won't graduate next year."

Why doesn't she understand that I don't care about high school graduation? Okay, it would be a pity if I didn't have Miss Collins as a class teacher next year. She is the only teacher at this school who believes in me and who has a lot of patience with me. I fear that will not be the case with another class teacher. But it would be better for Camille. We wouldn't have any lessons together and the school is big enough for me to get out of her way.

"You know, Miss Collins, I think this is the best solution for all of us."