I Pucking Hate You [Charlie Conway]

part 13- a confusion and complete concern

*Charlies POV*

I say the wrong things all the time. I'm can do better, I can be better. I want to make myself clear, I didn't mean to hurt Mia, why would I do that?

I think about her all the time, I shouldn't and I realize that. Nothing good can come out of my enemy Mia. I wish that the moment I met her on the ice that I would have said something different.

"Hey, I'm Charlie Conway, a lovable fun ice hockey player with a heart of gold. What's your name?"

"Hi I'm Mia Williams, a hockey player who doesn't hate you one bit and I can't wait to have a good relationship with you!"

If only.

If my mom saw me hanging around and not in fancy prep school, she'd kill me. Maybe she's kill me for bullying a girl I know nothing about on the anniversary of her mom's death. God, I didn't even know her mom was dead?!

I didn't think of it too much, I mean I saw her dad at every single game and then I saw him yell at her in the hallway for getting sent off. I didn't like him too much but, I thought she had someone else to fall back on. He seemed like a hot-headed jerk but, I didn't have any clues to fall back on.

Why was I so hyped up on Mia? I don't get it. One minute she's the worst part of my day, her voice drives me mad and her face makes me wanna walk to hell.

According to Connie, it's not all about me, I know that, that's a basic fact isn't it? I see her dad all the time, at matches. One time he straight up walked out of a game because she missed. I saw him out a few times after that, I never liked him. He never looked particularly happy, I know he only lost his wife and all that, but still.

I was walking through town, I left most of my belongings back at school. What would I even say, how can you apologize for making a day like this even worse?

If my mom saw me right now, she'd kill me. Physically put me six feet in the ground. She wants this school for me, it's my future. But maybe Mia went to the diner, I don't believe she would go home, to him.

I just kept walking, thinking, not truly believing how much of a dick I had been. Then she caught my eye, the way she usually does. Mia was sitting in the window seat of the diner, eating some pie and drinking some coffee. I knew I wouldn't see her for practice tonight but, she had a reason. Why did it matter to me where she was? It shouldn't, it didn't.

I'm confusing myself now.

I couldn't go into the diner, my mom was working but, I could know she was in good hands. I want to apologize, I will apologize but for now, I'll just go home.

To me, Mia is someone I've made myself hate. I don't know why I did it, why I made myself hate.

All I knew was that now, I never really hated her.

I couldn't.