Beloved

Chp. 51

Lilith

Nakoa. Now I understood why he held deep hatred against us. I could never imagine the loss of a whole family. How could I ever?

And even so...

I buried my face in my hands. But even after hearing all of this, the only thoughts that  crossed my mind was Khael. I dare to say that I wish for happiness and to grow old with Khael. To have our son and watch him grow. To see the wrinkles by the corner of his eyes when he smiles as our years go by. I want to be with Khael as long as I live.

I wished for everything Nakoa could not have with his wife...I dared to wish for it all.

"Ah.."

I winced from the sharp pain in my back. The pain seemed to be from the long ride here. My body was acting much more sensitive after my pregnancy. It was a bit difficult to adjust to the changing environment but I was thankful to have a bed here. I was no longer trapped in a dark room as a prisoner.

After having such a conversation with Ruel, I wasn't able to get any sleep. I pondered on his words last night.

"Lady Lilith, I know it is difficult but please have faith. I can assure you from the years I've served Chief Khael that he is a man of his word. He will return...And of course we are not planning to sit by knowing he is in danger."

Although I knew my worries would not easily subside, I assured myself repeatedly. I reminded myself of the reason why Khael chose to be stay behind. He had sacrificed his safety for our family. For our son. For me.

I needed to be a good wife as well as a good mother. There was little I could do for Khael but to listen and take care of myself.

My thoughts scattered when I heard movements on the otherside of the divider. Ruel seemed to have waken up and started to clear the floor. I heard the door close and realized he went out to find us breakfast before we headed off on the road. 

When he returned, he had a tray with a glass of water, baked potatoes, some vegetable soup and bread. It seemed plentiful to me. But right when I reached over, I felt nauseous. My eyes widened and I immediately covered my mouth.

"Lady Lilith!"

The tray rattled onto the table as Ruel immediately rushed towards me. I held my hand against my mouth and held my other hand up to assure him I was fine.

"I-I'm fine. I just felt n-nauseous for a second."

It was the smell. After a few steady breaths, I felt better. I realized how my body had changed so much. It felt as if it was no longer mine.

Ruel caught on fast and removed the soup away from me. He apologized for not thinking about it before. But how could he? I was sure this was all new to him as well. His first to ever take care of a pregnant women.

The potato and the bread was all I was able to eat. It wasn't until I peeled and took the first bite of the potato, I was quite hungry. I peered down at the small potato in my hand. It was delicious. I made sure to fill myself. Especially since there was one more to feed.

Today we would be on our way back to Draylum. We were now on the territory of Roem but we still had to be careful. There were often bandits and hunters near the mountains and they would rest in the empty cabins along the road. Even with Ruel beside me, facing strange group of men could lead to unsettling events. We had to find shelter elsewhere for tonight.

Ruel assured me that as long as we reach the Garvarian caves, Khael's men would be able to locate us. Hopefully we can rest there. It would certainly allay my worries.