Mugshot Hills

|Ch23|

•Damai Nathaniel's•
"Dame"

I stood in the shower washing myself for what felt like forever. It's like instantly after we did what we did I sobered up. My head is still pounding and I most likely got a hangover but everything emotion wise hit me all at once.

The first emotion being guilt.

Following that being regret.

I thought me and Brooklyn were better than this, that I was better than this. I love that girl more than anything. So how could I allow my hurt to make me fuck a girl she let stay with us out of the kindness of her heart. A eighteen year old about four years younger than me. A girl that Brooklyn calls her sister. Just thinking about how sick that is makes me sick. I'd thrown up multiple times and I don't know if it's the consequences of drinking or the consequences of cheating. Regardless I feel horrible about myself. Afterwards Crystal went back to her room and slept like a baby. While I couldn't. I stripped the sheets throwing them in the washer. Lowkey wanting to burn them but knew I couldn't do that. I had fucked another girl in our bed, I fucked Crystal in our bed. I couldn't even imagine how Brooklyn would react. And I know I said I'm grown and an adult now but I don't want to take the mature approach. Being honest might just make her up and leave me. But could I live with that big a secret?

I cover myself with soap washing so hard everywhere until my skin is damn near numb to it. That still doesn't stop me from feeling dirty. I never thought the guilt would eat me up this much. I done cheated before. I cheated on Gigi plenty of times, not saying that's a good thing but I'm just saying I'm not entirely new to the shit. Difference was I could look Gigi who I only cared for not loved in the eyes and tell her I cheated. Because I didn't really see a future in her eyes no way. But Brooklyn? I do love her and because of that the guilt for what I've done is surrounding me.

It doesn't even matter that she left on Vera's birthday. What seemed so important and worth cheating for has led me to something I can't come back from.

The sound of someone knocking on the bathroom door sounds. Believe it not but I hope it's not Crystal and I hope it's not Brooklyn. For separate reasons.

I step out of the shower wrapping my towel around me. Luckily I brushed my teeth before I showered. I did all I could to make myself feel like I didn't do what I did with her. When I open the door I come face to face with Brooklyn who already has tears rolling down her face. My heart aches and fear fills my body.

"I'm so sorry baby," she apologizes catching me completely off guard. "I know today is Vera birthday and I tried to be back on time. I customized this a month ago for you. I know I shouldn't of left baby I'm sorry but I picked it up and everything please don't be mad at me." She cups my face in her hands and I close my eyes feeling at home. The guilt hitting me even harder.

She hands me the box and I hesitate as I open it. I see a gold chain with over shaped golden plate that has a picture of me and Vera inside of it and her birthday and the day she died engraved inside of it. My heart warms and I stare at her realizing that she really loves me. She really customized this for me in a whole month in advance. She didn't forget. Maybe she did leave but she didn't forget. And the fact that she rushed and got this tonight shows me she understands how much this means to me. Before I know it a tear is sliding down my cheek. "It's okay you don't cry it's okay." She says softly lifting up on her tippy toes and pecking me on the lips.

"I love you so much." I confess pulling her in a hug her closely. My face buried in the crook of her neck.

"I love you more," she pulls away taking the chain from me she puts it around my neck. "I promise I'll quit and be here for you more. I shouldn't of took the job."