Love gives hope

Chapter 3 "Collapsed amd surgery

Meredith's Point-of View

"Do you need to pee?" I asked as I gathered up the cards.

"Thanks to the lovely tube snaking up my favorite body part? No. I don't need to get up to pee."

"Of course, that is your favorite body part." I rolled my eyes but smirked, "Pervert."

"It's not my favorite because of what I can do with it." He sighed "it's my favorite because it's the only organ on my body that hasn't been touched by cancer."

I felt about two inches tall. I was trying to lift his spirits, not insult him and make a possibly dying man feel down on himself. No, I wasn't going to let him die, I've already almost killed one patient in my young career, I wasn't going to lose another. Besides, there was something about him that I liked...just couldn't put my finger on it. All I knew was that the world would be a less good place without him in it.

"I'm sorry." I apologized, "I wasn't trying to insult you."

"I know." He breathed, "When you're sick you tend to take things to heart too much. Like the fact that there is a tube in a place I took pride in, kind of insulting on its own don't you think?"

"True." I giggled, "Well, do you want to get up anyway, maybe standing on your own two feet would make you feel better?"

He gave me a wary, nervous expression before giving a nod, "Ok, but if I fall just let me drop, you're tiny, I am not, I don't want to hurt you."

I rolled my eyes, like I was going to just let him crash to the floor... "Ok. Whatever."

I stood up and helped him pull back the covers and then extended my hands to help him pull himself up. He looked at them and frowned as if he were too proud to let me help, but I was stubborn just as he said. He took my hands as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and touched his feet to the cold hospital floor. I felt him shiver a minute and a soft smile graced his lips. I knew then that it had been a while since he felt a cold floor under his feet.

Slowly, he put his weight onto his knees and then his legs, so he could lift himself out of bed. I held him steady as he straightened himself out and I looked deeply into his sparkling blue eyes. They weren't cloudy anymore. They were clearer than ever, as if the more life was in them the more colorful, they were.

"You're tall." I smiled up at him.

"Yeah." He smiled.

I almost got lost into that weak, yet handsome smile of his. Until the machines started making all kinds of noises. His face grew pale, his eyes panicked, and he started gasping for breath. He fell back and I did my best to make sure he fell back into bed. I pressed the nurses' button as quick as I could as I reached for a pulse.

"Code blue!" I called into the speaker, "Someone page my mother stat!"

I felt him grasp my hand as he gasped for breath.

"It's ok." I panted, "it'll be ok I'm going to get help."

"No." he gasped, "My lung collapsed," Gasp "You can do this."

"I can't." I stressed, "I'm only an intern, I don't know anything."

"You," Gasp "can," Gasp "Your books," Gasp "Got you here," Gasp.

"I." I shook my head with confusion, what did he mean, "I don't know what to do."

"Think," He gasped again, "18 gauge," Gasp "between third and fourth intercostals."

Suddenly, it all clicked, all my education and experience hit me like a wrecking ball. I slapped on some gloves, grabbed a needle and some iodine, and pulled up his gown as I spread my fingers across his ribs. I spread the iodine over the space and stuck the needle in quickly. Hoping like hell that I didn't just make matters for him worse.

He took a big healthy gasp as his lung filled back up with air. The alarms stopped and everything suddenly got quiet. He looked up at me with relief and laid his hand on my arm.

"You're good under pressure; when you don't let the fear of screwing up get in your way." He said softly as he caught his breath, "Stop letting yourself get intimidated."

"How did you." I frowned, "How did you know what I needed to do?"

He looked panicked and turned to ignore me. His face turned to the door just as I heard an angry yell.

"What the hell happened!" my mother, Ellis, shouted, "What did you do wrong now?"

"Uh!" I stuttered "His right lung collapsed; I was just trying to help him out of bed to keep his circulation going...that's all I was doing."

"He doesn't need to get out of bed he needs to rest for surgery and— "she said as she pushed me out of the way. She looked at the procedure I did, then looked at me with surprise, "Did you do this?"

"I um..." I stuttered.

"She did." Mr. Shepherd wheezed, "All on her own. Smart kid you've got, Dr. Grey."

I saw a look in my mother's eyes that I'd honest to God never seen before in my life...she was impressed.

"Good job." She mumbled just above a whisper; my jaw dropped, "Glad you didn't screw it up that is." There it was... "Derek, we're going to have to take you in to repair this, I'll see if I can take out a portion of the tumor pressing against your lungs to keep this from happening. You know, before the chemo can shrink the rest of them.

"Alright." He sighed, "Only if Meredith gets to scrub in."

"Mr. Shepherd, I don't have to be." I shook my head in shock.

He looked at my stunned mother, "I'm not having the surgery unless she is in there."

My mother looked, contemplating it for a moment before giving a nod, "Fine, Meredith, go scrub in."

"Seriously?" I gasped.

"Don't give me time to change my mind!"

"Yes ma'am."

I rushed out of the room and headed up to the scrub room between OR 3 & 4 and started to scrub in, my mother walked in and let out a relenting sigh as she started her scrub in process.

"I overreacted." She said, "You have to understand that you can't make mistakes on this job, people's lives depend on you." I stood there and nodded, "Starting tomorrow you can round with your class of interns, and should you be placed on other cases, you can do them. However, I still want you to stick with Derek Shepherd, he seems to like you, and he isn't going to make it unless he chooses to live. I need you to make him want to live, Meredith."

"Ok." I nodded. I turned to walk into the OR and started drying my hands with a sterile towel that the scrub nurse handed me. Then, walked over to the table where he was about to be put under and looked down at him "Hi."

"Hey." He smiled up at me, "Try not to freeze this time, huh?"

"I won't." I giggled, then looked at him seriously, "You knew what to do, you walked me through it. How did you know what to do?"

His expression was blank, but I could tell he was hiding something in his eyes, "You're in hospitals long enough you pick things up."

"Uh-huh." I said with disbelief, as the anesthesiologist nodded that he was putting him under, "See you after surgery."

His eyes fluttered closed, but a smile was on his lips as he whispered, "See you after."

Will you see her after?