Love gives hope

Chapter 42 "Ava Emily-grace Shepherd"

Meredith's Point-of View

I stood up straight and buttoned down the front of my shirt I tugged at it as it barely fit over my new set of hooters. I marveled at them in the mirror...Derek would have a hay-day with these puppies.

Thank you, sweet little baby girl.

I glanced down to see her sleeping peacefully on the bed. All decked out in pink that my mother and father had spoiled her with. 24 hours old and she was already the most popular person in this hospital.

I gulped as I stared at my living miracle.

The mere fact that she was here was proof that they did exist. Derek's chemo, with as strong as it was, should've annihilated his sperm count. If I had been sleeping with anyone else, I would be sure that I was pregnant with someone else's kid.

Here she was, the spitting image of her father, except for my nose and my mother's chin...to which she fully claimed proudly.

I gulped as I wondered if I would be a good mother to her? If I would be as hard on her as my mother was on me? Or if I would be softer? If I would show her kindness and compassion unlike having to find it out for herself like I did.?

"You're going to be a wonderful mother."

I jumped a little as I turned to see the devil leaning in the doorway, giving me a soft smile as if she was reading my mind.

"I'm not reading your mind." She sighed as she stepped in, "I just know that look...because it's the same look I gave you when I wondered the same thing."

"You were a good mom." I gulped, "You made me a strong person. I couldn't have gotten through this without that."

"I could have been a little softer." She shrugged as she came in and scooped the baby up in her arms and coddled her a little "Now, it's your turn to figure out what you should and shouldn't do."

"I'm sure it'll take some getting used to."

"Yes." She mumbled as she kissed her granddaughter's cheek, "Now, take this precious thing home so I can get some work done."

I giggled as I took the baby from her after slinging the diaper bag over my shoulder.

"Just one stop first." I mumbled as I stroked my daughter's cheek. Then, I looked up apprehensively at my mother, "If it's, okay?"

"Please do." She sighed, "I'm getting a little annoyed at hearing him ask for you."

I smiled with relief.

Derek had made leaps and bounds of improvement. They'd never seen a recovery like it...an hour after the cord blood had started being administered his color returned. Two hours later, he was awake and breathing on his own. When we got to the door of his room, he looked weak...but he looked like my husband again.

I walked in quietly as it looked like he was sleeping. He opened his eyes as I leaned over and placed the bundle of joy in his arms. He looked down at her and his eyes fluttered with tears as he struggled to keep his breathing steady.

"I'd like you to meet your daughter." I whispered as I slowly sat down at his bed to help him support her in his arms.

"I had a dream we had a girl." He whispered as he kissed her forehead. "What's her name?"

"Ava Emily-Grace Shepherd." I said, "Emily means rival, she is your rival against cancer. Grace means good will, that's pretty self explanatory. And Ava means life..." I struggled not to tear up and smiled through it "She gave you life."

He smiled up at me then looked at her with tears filling his eyes.

"Well, Ava Emily-Grace Shepherd..." he breathed "Thank you."

He looked up at me with a gracious look in his eyes and whispered it to me as well. I leaned down and kissed his cool forehead and let out a sigh of contentment.

"I told you I wasn't going to let you die on me."

I made good on that promise, and I always would.