Love gives hope

Chapter 22 "me too, son

Derek's Point-of-View

I felt like I was dying. I felt like I could die. I also knew that I was supposed to feel this way. I opened my eyes and peered at the sack of dark fluid hanging above me, in it slowly tricking down and into my veins was my new immune system in a bag.

I felt a warm hand touch my arm, "Do you want some more ice chips dear?"

I nodded to the best of my ability and opened my lips as she spooned a few pieces of ice onto my tongue to wet my mouth.

"Thank you." I whispered as my eyelids slid shut, they felt like they weighed a ton these days.

In all honesty I was glad Meredith didn't get to see me like this...but at the same time I always seemed to pull a few ounces of energy out of nothing when she walked in the room.

"I'm surprised you're putting yourself through this again." Ma said as she put the cup of ice down, I opened one eye and looked over at my mother, dressed in sterile garb, hairnet and mask as well...she almost didn't look like my mother, but her eyes were unmistakable "I was sure that you'd given up."

"I had." I breathed, "I just wanted to come here and die."

"Well." She sighed, "I am glad that you changed your mind. Sometimes we just need to find a real reason to push forward."

"Yeah." I hummed.

"So." She said in a tone so sweet that I knew better, "Dr. Meredith Grey is a nice lady, she seems to be in here a lot too."

"She is committed to my case."

"She is very pretty."

"Ma." I groaned weakly, "Can we please not do this right now? I don't have the energy for crazy overbearing mother talk."

"Oh alright." She sighed, "I just thought you might want to talk about her since you obviously miss her."

"What makes you think I miss her?"

"Because every time you open your eyes you look at the door, like you expect her to come walking through it any minute."

"She isn't coming." I gulped, "She has a fever, she can't."

"That doesn't mean that you don't want her to."

"What I want is to sleep the rest of this week away." I sighed as I closed my eyes once again, "I want this to be over once and for all, I want to be myself again."

"Soon darling." She smiled encouragingly, "Soon enough. You will get better; you will walk out of here and come back home."

I gulped, oh god how did I tell her that, that probably wasn't going to happen? I wasn't in the mood for a long lecture...

"Of course that is if you even want to come home." She said as if reading my mind "Which I won't bring up again, but just so you know dear, your sisters are expecting it. You won't get a long lecture from me, but I can't say the same for them."

"Ma." I groaned.

"I'm sorry darling. I am just warning you." She sighed "I will stop now."

I nodded into the silence that filled the room. She sat back silently in her chair and listened to the humming of machines...I started to doze off into the comfortable silence, it could be more comfortable with Meredith here, but I knew she would be if she could.

At least someone was sitting at my bedside...and if it weren't for Meredith there wouldn't be anyone here. It was like she knew what was best for me even before she knew it...no way I was getting rid of her now.

I reached out and grabbed Ma's hand, I brought it to my face and kissed her palm.

"I'm glad you're here Ma."

"Me too, son."