Love gives hope

Chapter 40 "code blue!"

Meredith's Point-of View

He looked pale today.

Then again, he looked pale every day. Today seemed different, today he looked like he could... I banished the thought before I thought it. I wasn't going to go there.

I stood at the door for a few moments to adjust my emotions. I couldn't cry, I couldn't be weak, because he was weak. So, I had to be strong for the both of us.

He was fast asleep, but judging by the tense muscles in his face, I could tell he was in pain.

I gulped as part of me was tempted to let him go, for his own sake...just to get him out of pain.

I wasn't going there.

So, I sucked it up, ran my hand over my giant belly and waddled my fake-happy ass to his bedside and ran a cool hand over his hot cheek. He moaned a little as he turned his face into my hand and gave my palm a weak kiss before opening his eyes weakly.

"Hi." He whispered.

I almost broke, but I held on and smiled "Hi."

"How are you two?" he croaked as he glanced at the belly.

"Still baking." I sighed with frustration.

"That's a good thing." He tried to smile, "Just means the baby isn't done yet."

"They are stubborn like their father." I mumbled, he chuckled once before cringing in pain, "Derek...it'll be okay. Dr. Kline said if I don't go into labor before next Friday, she'll induce." I grabbed his weak hand and squeezed, "We just have to hang on."

He licked his lips weakly and closed his eyes, "I don't think I'm going to make it."

"You will." I gasped as tears burned my eyes,"You will make it."

"You don't get to be bossy over everything." He mumbled with a slight sense of sarcasm.

"Of course I do." I smirked, "I am practically a mom now."

"You'll be a good one." He smiled.

"You'll be a good father too."

His eyes grew a little distant, but he did his best to smile and not open the conversation up for discussion. He patted the side of the bed in a way that he wanted me to lay down next to him. I breathed softly as I did so, gently. I could definitely use a little rest today...I was exhausted. I'd woken up at 4 a.m., cleaned the house top to bottom, and showered and came in to see him.

I wasn't sure how long I'd been out. When the cramp in my stomach jarred me from my sleep, causing me to open my eyes it was dark in the room. I looked up at Derek to see him sleeping soundly again, still pale and deathly looking.

I laid back and tried to relax...that was until another cramp hit me. This time it was strong enough to make me cringe. I balled my fist up and winced as it ripped through me like a freight train... I held my breath until it loosened up and panted a little as I ran my fingers over my belly and felt our baby move.

I felt a spark of hope...could this be it? Was it finally time?

I licked my lips and did my best to relax as I felt another contraction starting to tighten around my midsection.

I had to bite my lip to keep from making any noise that might wake him up.

Then again, maybe he should be awake. He's the one that did this to me after all.

I waited for my contraction to ease before maneuvering myself to a sitting position... I turned to Derek, surprised my jostling didn't wake him up. I sighed as another contraction grappled me.

Wow they were coming sudden and fast.

"Derek." I whimpered as it peaked, I reached over and shook his leg a little "Derek, wake up, its time."

I panted a little and looked back when I didn't get a response, his lips were white and as colorless as his face. I gulped as I saw little movement coming from his chest and suddenly felt the pang of fear hit me.

"Derek!" I shouted as I stood up and shook him...no response.

Another contraction hit me and I whimpered as I balled my hand around his hospital gown and whined through it, tears fell from my eyes and I panted and breathed, then reached up with a shaky hand and felt for his pulse.

Feeling hardly anything at all I reached up with my other hand and slammed the blue code button.

"Please stay with me." I cried and whimpered, "Derek don't you dare leave me, don't you dare let me do this alone! Stay with me...please stay with me!"

Seconds later the door burst opened, and my dad was pulling me away from the bed, I wasn't sure if I was screaming from them slamming against my husband's chest to try and restart his heart, or from the pain of the contractions.

"It'll be okay." He whispered in my ear.

But I knew it wasn't. As strong as I wanted to be, I knew it wouldn't.

What we needed was a miracle, and we were just about out of them.

"We have a pulse." My mother yelled "It's weak, come on let's go."

I stepped out of the way as they wheeled him in a rush out of the room, I tried to follow.

"I'm coming with you."

My mother turned to protest as well as Dad grabbing hold of my arm, but the sound of splashing water against the floor took all our attention away from each other.

"Oh no." I sighed as I shook the water off my soaked shoes, "It's okay, I'll just go change."

"No you won't." Mom muttered, "You'll go check yourself into labor and delivery right this second."

"No." I shook my head as tears filled my eyes "No, not without Derek."

"Meredith." Dad said in an authoritive tone.

I ignored him and stared at my mother with wide panic as I did my best to ignore the pains of labor beginning to take over my body. I waited for a fight, I waited for a lecture...but she reached out and hugged me close as I let out a sob.

"I know this is scary." She whispered into my hair "It'll be okay. My job right now is to keep your husband alive, so your job is to get that baby out...you can do this, because you're my child, you're strong...and because Derek loves you. So, put all this fear away and do what you know you have to do."

I sniffled and nodded as she stepped away from me.

"I'll come bring you an update soon."

I nodded as I felt Dad take my arm and slowly lead me in the direction of labor and deliver.

Hoping that today would be the delivery date of more than just one miracle.