Love gives hope

Chapter 20 "surprises"

Derek's Point-of-View

"Stop fussing." I sighed as I watched the busy blonde buzzing around the room, fidgeting with medical equipment, she looked over to scowl at me.

"I am not fussing."

"You are fussing." I whined, "You've checked my IV machine four times in the last ten minutes, taken my vitals so many times that I can't feel my left arm anymore. I think you're ruining the medical equipment by overworking it."

"I am not." She scoffed, "I am just being thorough."

"Why don't you just let the nurses do that, it's their job, and come get in bed with me, I want you naked."

"Liz is off today, and all the other nurses are idiots." She rolled her eyes, "You will not be seeing me naked anytime soon. You're barely recovered, and about to be stripped of your immune system, so you can undergo a very extensive bone marrow transplant. You need rest."

"I need sex." I argued, "You not giving it up is breaking your promise."

"What?!" she gasped, eyes wide and mouth opened. "How is that breaking a promise, I never promised you sex!"

"Yes you did." I smirked and tapped my temple, "In my head, you promised me all sorts of sexual favors."

"Derek Shepherd." She rolled her eyes, "You are so god damned horny, I don't see how you walk straight."

"At the moment I don't walk at all, so I have plenty of time to be horny."

"Whatever." She shook her head, "You are not getting sex."

"Can I at least feel you up?" I grinned with a flirtatious wink. She giggled and started to sit down when there was an intrusive knock at the door. I sighed as I looked to see it open. Now, it was my turn to be shocked as I saw the familiar woman walk through the door, "Ma?"

"Derek!" she gasped and practically dove to my bedside "Oh my God, oh God has answered my prayers...you're alive! You're alive!"

"How did you.." I stuttered as she smothered my face with kisses, "Ma please stop." I scoffed, she stood up and pinched her lips together with her fingers as her eyes filled with tears "How did you know I was here...How did you find me?"

"It certainly wasn't easy." She sniffled, "With you running away and making us think that you were dead. I searched and only came up with dead ends. I almost came to the morbid conclusion that you had died, when a very kind woman from this hospital called last night."

"A very kind lady?" I asked, I noticed out of the corner of my eye Meredith was starting to back up and I looked over with a hardened expression.

"Oh Derek." Ma gasped with tears streaming down her face, "Oh I'm so glad you're alive, you have no idea! Oh, I have to go call your sisters, they've been worried sick!"

"Ma, wait!" I called after her, but she was already out the door, cell phone in hand. I let out a rigid sigh and turned to glare at Meredith, "You called my mother."

"She never said Meredith called her." She stuttered, "It could have been any kind lady." I narrowed my eyes and hardened my lips, she shifted and gave a defeated sigh, "Ok fine, it was me."

"Why?" I hissed, "Why in God's name did you call my mother when I specifically said..."

"You never specifically said anything."

"I did!" I scoffed, "I specifically said that I was protecting them from the horror of my death."

"Well, you're not dying anymore. I was just trying to cheer you. You've got a long week ahead of you."

"I just had surgery; I could still die. You've just undone everything I worked so hard at doing to protect my family."

She winced like that statement hurt her, and I knew it did. In a way that's why I said it, but when I realized what it meant to her, I wished I could take it back.

"Look if you want to just go back to being content with dying again be my guest, if you want me to get rid of her, I will. Just so you know, we can all die at any moment of any day. Hell, I could walk outside this building and get hit by a car in the parking lot and die. We can only protect the ones we love so much, and with what we can't protect them from we just have to trust that they're strong enough to deal with it." I gulped at the tears of anger and frustration burning in her eyes, "I never got the chance to know my father, I only knew my mother. As you know I can't stand the woman. If she wasn't related, I am sure that I would hate her. However, I stick around because she is the only person in my life with the same DNA. We have more than just words and familiarity in common. No one else in the world can give you that but your family, Derek. If you want to push them away then so be it, but family is who stays when the world walks out on you, and Derek, this week your world is about to be turned upside down."

She took a breath and straightened up, sniffled and blinked her tears away. I sucked in a sharp breath, it hurt. I suddenly felt all of my scars, every single one of them. The pain and the battery that my body had gone through and the anxiety of the pain it was going to go through yet...

I looked up at her and suddenly all my pain vanished, she took my pain away. She had been my family, and I knew that someday she would be...so, did I really want to push family away now?

"I'm sorry." I whispered as I looked up sheepishly "You're right."

She blinked in disbelief "Seriously... you're not going to scream and yell and say 'damn it Meredith."

"Do you want me to?" I raised a brow.

"No." she mumbled with a swing of her shoulders.

I let out another sigh and gave her a flash of a smile "Look I'm not happy that you called her without talking to me first. In a way I am glad you did, you're right, family is all we have sometimes. So, I'm only a little pissed at you."

"Well, if I let you grope me will you not be pissed at me?"

I felt my eyes twinkle as the rest of my smile found my face and I felt my flag starting to rise high on the pole.

"Ok your sisters aren't happy with you, but they're relieved." Ma said with a walk back in the room, and there went the flag. I sighed heavily, Meredith reached out and squeezed my hand "They're all going to come out here, Kathleen and Nancy first, then Amelia and Irene. We'll all be here for you Derek, no need to worry."

I closed my eyes and breathed slowly through my nose as I tried my hardest to contain myself in front of the two women I loved most in the world.

"Actually, Mrs. Shepherd." Meredith said in a sweet but stern way, "Derek is about to be put through a rigorous treatment. He is about to be put in a strict isolation as his immune system gets annihilated and he is going to be very tired and weak until his new bone marrow kicks in. It would probably be best if the visitors waited until after his recovery, he will be too weak to visit anyway. I am sure that Derek would want to give his best attention to all his visitors, especially those who traveled all this way to come see him."

I knew there was a reason I loved her...

"Of course, of course." Ma said with a strain on her face "I will tell them to wait, whatever is best for Derek." She looked at me with sadness deep within her eyes, sadness that I knew I'd caused. It wasn't a pity sadness, it was different... "If it will be better for you dear, I can leave too, I just want you better."

"No." I caught her hand on my shoulder before she could pull it back, "No, it feels good to have you here."

"Well then." She smiled and sat down at my bedside, "Then, here I will stay."

Meredith flashed me a smirk that told me the groping would have to wait, but I sighed contently as she left the room. After all there would be a lifetime to grope her, and that was something worth sticking around for.