Love gives hope

Chapter 8 "where you belong"

Derek's Point-of-View

I sat there pinned to my hospital bed, thinking, holy shit! No one has ever spoken to me like that. Ever since I got cancer, everyone has been walking on eggshells around me. People have been painfully nice. Just in case I don't wake up the next day. No one's ever told me to get over myself.

Honest to God, it was refreshing.

It was the slap in the face that woke me up. I still had a desire to die and just get this shit life over with. I had no reason to live, so why whine about it. However, I wanted to see her again before I did, so I was anxiously waiting for her to return. I was flipping through a magazine, but too anxious to read it.

Three hours and two minutes later, I heard sneakers stop at my doorway. I looked up with relief to see her standing there with her hands behind her back.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled, "I lost my temper and I owe you an apology, you didn't deserve that."

I gulped and gave her a nod, "Actually, it was kind of nice hearing someone's actual thoughts for once. As opposed to people just sugar coating everything."

"Well regardless of you dying or not, you didn't' deserve that."

"Meredith." I sighed, "In a way, you were right. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. So please, don't apologize for being right."

"I was right, and I'm not apologizing for that." She said with a stubborn chin, "I was apologizing for how I handled myself, I was wrong to yell at you."

"Oh." I smirked, "well apology accepted."

She took a step into my room and shook her shoulders as she looked at me sheepishly, as if she were a five-year-old that stuck her hand in the cookie jar. I had to say it was quite adorable, but I wondered what engineered the look.

"If I tell you something will you promise too not be mad at me?"

"What are you twelve?" I scoffed, "If you need to tell me something, just say it."

She chewed on her lip nervously and sighed "I went through some of your stuff."

"You, what." I gasped as I dropped the page I was flipping.

"I was trying to find something to help you, and you were all woe is me. It gives me information, but not enough to help you so... I sort of went through your things."

She pulled her hands out from behind her back and dropped a very familiar item on the bed. I gulped as I looked at the ferry boat scrub cap, it was my favorite. I had a thing for ferry boats. Taking them into surgery with me brought me good luck. I thought I tossed it long ago, but obviously it was still amongst my things.

"Thief." I shook my head, "How did you find that?"

"I can be very sneaky when I want to be." She waggled her eyebrows, yes that turned me on. "You need to put it on."

"I'm not putting it on." I scoffed, "I have no need to put it on, I'm not performing surgery. Not right now and probably never again."

"Just go with it." She sighed with an eye roll.

"What am I going with?"

"Just put it on, you'll need it for where we're going."

"Where are we going?" I asked, "I'm not going into an OR, I am in no condition to perform surgery so if that's your plan the answer is no."

"I'll make you a deal." She smirked, "If you wear the scrub cap, I'll take your folie out."

My ears lifted in delight at the thought of that. I looked warily at her as I contemplated the idea of losing my bag of urine. I looked at the scrub cap and then at her and pressed my lips together.