Chapter 35 : The Liberated Moon

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Invisible Moon

Chapter 35

The Liberated Moon

"Sometimes, standing on the ground,

is more liberating than hanging in the sky."

#WINisWIND


'The reason I want to be a UNISTAR is because I want to be with P'In.'

This was my honest answer.

But, how could I say it?

I could simply say that I wanted to be a UNISTAR for other reasons, other than P'In. I could create any reasons in flowery sentences, making everyone wholeheartedly trust me, believe in me, and be impressed with me.

I would probably gain more votes. I might even win and become the new UNISTAR member.

I just needed to say it.

However...

Why was it that when I tried to say it, my voice seemed to disappear? I couldn't even say a word.

Because my honest answer was the total opposite.

"The clock is ticking, N'Win." P'Leo pressured me.

I looked at P'In. He seemed to worry, the expression in his eyes was complex. Then he gave me a sign by shaking his head.

I was stunned. P'In was implying that he wanted me to deny P'Leo's accusation.

However, just thinking of rejecting my honest feelings caused me to feel so much pain.

"I don't..." I tried to speak out, but my words were stuck.

I was trying to say: 'P'In is not the reason I want to be a UNISTAR.' But I couldn't, since it wasn't the truth.

Right. Before, I thought I wanted to be under the spotlight, I wanted to be the light for other people. If I became the Moon, I would like to be as good as P'In. But when I had realised my real feelings towards P'In, I knew that I wanted to be with P'In more than I wanted to become a UNISTAR.

I could probably lie to everyone else, but I couldn't lie to myself.

If I won and became a UNISTAR, then what would be next?

I would have to carry the baggage of this lie forever.

I've realised this for a long time now, and it had burdened me since I did that interview claiming that I wasn't gay and had never thought about dating P'In. I had lied to everyone all along.

'I'm sorry P'In. I'm sorry to everyone who is cheering for me. I might disappoint all of you. But...I'll take responsibility for that.'

No more lies.

I closed my eyes.

I would take it all on my own.

"Yes. P'Leo. You're right."

I decided to answer. Amidst the shock of the audience.

P'In widened his eyes, as did other UNISTAR members except P'Sea, who was smiling slightly, and P'Leo, who was still indifferent.

"This means that you really want to be with N'In, right?" P'Leo asked, confirming.

I tried to get a hold of myself.

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