More than just a friend || Roger Taylor

11- How it's gonna stay

20th March 1978

An- smut warning :)

"You can't wear that. It's not right. Too..." Connie waved her hands around in a gesture I didn't quite understand as I stood in front of her wearing the fifth dress I'd tried on for the party I was meant to be attending within the same hour. "Too... tight."

"Great. That leaves the floral bell sleeved one or the burgundy o-"

"Yep. The floral one. With fishnets and your black boots I reckon." Connie nodded, falling back down onto my bed as I rolled my eyes and padded back over to my wardrobe for what felt like the a thousandth time. "Why are you so bothered about what you look like though ? We both know you're not gonna have your pictures taken by anyone and you never seemed this worried before."

"I just... I want to look nice. They're off on tour again soon and... I suppose I just want to make some form of an effort. Maybe so he can remember me actually looking hot rather than how I look when I wake up at his." I shrugged, slipping off the purple dress before pulling the floral one over my head, adjusting it in the mirror as my head titled slightly. "Are you sure about this one Connie ?"

"Yes. If you want him to remember you looking nice then yes... cause he ain't gonna forget your tits in that." She laughed, rummaging through my drawers and tossing me my tights before I grabbed them and quickly pulled them up. "Are you two still just casual sex ?"

"Well..." I would've lied in that moment, of course I would've. It was firstly easier to avoid the truth, ins and outs of mine and Roger's so called friendship, and secondly, I was far too proud to let myself admit I'd completely fallen for him. Desperately so. And I was not at all happy that he'd be touring for the next few months. But, I couldn't answer quick enough before Connie jumped to a fairly accurate conclusion.

"So it's more than that."

"I don't know. It feels like it. I even stayed at his the other night without actually shagging him. And I just like being in his company you know ? It's nice to be around him." I shrugged, nervously biting the skin around my nails Connie had only just voluntarily painted. She smirked, her eyes catching mine as her eyebrows sat raised higher than they usually were, my mind trying to gather the words for an answer I knew was needed shortly.

"You and I both know you like him like more than just a friend Addy... cmon. I've seen the way your face basically lights up when you talk about him." I shut the wardrobe door, my eyes leaving hers as my lips failed to push the response I was supposed to already have prepared, but I couldn't really think of how to deny what I knew was true. Especially not to Connie.

"But it feels like I'm trapped. It's like this is how it's gonna stay... we're just gonna be secretly spending all this time together until one of us gets bored of it. I'm just waiting for him to finally find that one thing that everyone else does that makes them finally leave. It can't be long."

"Look... there's not many options here... but there are some." She paused as I fell down onto the bed besides her, her thumb quickly swiping an eyelashes that had fallen sat on my cheek. "You can live out this 'fantasy', sleeping with Queen's drummer most nights for however long it takes for one of you to get bored, or option two, you can tell him how you really feel, and that you wanna get out of this 'trap', or option three, you just leave everything to do with him behind and pretend like it never happened."

"So I'm either basically his booty call, I'm a twat who's managed to fall for him, or I'm a girl left desperate for him." I sighed, head falling onto her shoulder as she clicked her tongue. "All my options are shit."

"They're just the three I could come up with quickest. I can guarantee you this is gonna work out to be more than what it is now, don't worry." Connie reassured me, smiling as I nodded slowly. There was of course a fairly good chance the words she seemed to be using to extinguish the burning doubt in my mind were false, but they still managed to at least dim the fire for that moment.