More than just a friend || Roger Taylor

29- my first love

1st October 1980

"And as expected... here she is." Julian laughed as I stepped through the door, a relief at my features as I slumped down besides him on the sofa and watched Summer fill an empty glass with whatever they were drinking. "How was your date ?"

"A date ? It was more like a business meeting... and it didn't even end in sex !" I huffed, my arms being launched dramatically outwards to Julian and Summers amusement. "He ordered take out from Ralph's... Roger took me there once and I couldn't stand it, so I barely ate, and then he asked when I'd be leaving since he had work ! I mean what a romancer."

"Fucking hell... I mean sex could've made up for it- but no sex ?" Summers eyebrows knitted together as she tried to piece together what exactly was the current glue managing to actually bond me and Nathan.

"Yeah but he doesn't fuck me like Roger did." I watched Julian's eyebrows shoot upwards as summer almost chocked on her drink, avoiding spitting her glasses contents across me as her hand grasped her chest.

I didn't have any hesitation in what I'd said because for starters I'd drunk the one thing that made me horribly honest, wine, and because in truth Nathan didn't. In fact he didn't do anything like Roger did- but then nor did anyone else I'd been with.

No one could make me feel the way only his eyes could. One glare at me with a certain glint could have my head swarming. And shockingly no one cared for me like he did. Not quite. I was yet to watch my favourite movie cuddles up besides Nathan or drive down the beach as one of the best distractions- but I needed to accept how everything would be different after Roger.

Part of moving forward was accepting the differences in life, but I just never managed to make it past that phase. I would cling on to everything that made the drummer so special, and that made him the first person I'd well and truly fallen in love with. Love almost became a myth to me until I met him, and then the realness of the pain he caused showed me it wasn't a myth at all. It was a harsh and often brutal reality- that Nathan was yet to share with me.

"Well... I think Roger might've had a tad more experience that Nathan. Based on what I've heard- I should hope he's a better lay." Julian took a large gulp of his drink, watching my expression as words settled between us.

"Just out of curiosity... where in fucks name are Leo and Connie ?" I laughed slightly as I glanced around the room and noticed no signs of the other two, my mind already trying to answer the question as to where they happened to be as only the three of us filled the flat.

"Gone to get an Indian. Told them to get you the usual just in case." I put my hands together as if to pray, glancing up at the flats ceiling before jumping in front of Julian and slapping his cheek with a more then sloppy kiss.

"I love you Jules." I laughed as he shoved me away and dragged his hand across his cheek, his features riddled with disgust as I sipped my drink gently.

"What do you think Roger would say if he knew you couldn't get over him after..." Julian paused, watching my eyes as they rolled with annoyance. "Two fucking years ?"

"I'm over him..." I said falsely, even though at the time I told myself at every needed moment that what I was letting past my lips was the truth. I didn't realise until later on that I wasn't, though I most certainly should've been, I wasn't. "And I know exactly what he'd say. He'd say 'aw well Lynn it's not like anyone else fucked you like I did' and then he would smirk that goddamn fucking smirk."

"That was quite a good British accent considering..." Summer giggled as my eyes rolled again, my head diving back into the sofa as I fell backwards against the soft cushions. "But it's fine... you'll get there one day. Wether it's Roger or not... someone will love you the way you deserve."