More than just a friend || Roger Taylor

27- I should follow the path

23rd August 1980

"How's Nathan..?" Connie teased, jabbing my ribs playfully as we stepped through the coffee shops door. I giggled a little, batting her hand away with a gentle shake of my head that seemed to provide her with an answer good enough. "I can't believe you've already been on like... a dozen dates ! He's hardly your type."

"I know. It's weird. Really weird." I shrugged, sitting down opposite her at an old wooden table decorated  with a vase containing just one singular, bright yellow flower that gave it just enough colour to brighten the scene.

"Still... I'm happy for you. It's nice to see you with someone after-"

"Right I'm not with him for starters." I chuckled uneasily. "And yes I know it's nice to see me with someone after Roger. Yeah it's alright... but that's the problem. He's not Roger. I suddenly expect every guy or chick to be as confident as him or as cocky or really just as flirty... but they aren't."

Her eyes widened, watching with a worry in her expression as my head fell into the palm of my hand, fingers tapping against the edge of the table. She took a minute to take in what is said, letting out a relatively deep sigh in the process.

"You're never gonna find another Roger. Roger was Roger. And he was also someone you loved two years ago." She frowned, each word holding a pang of guilt well blended with a twinge of sympathy as they left her down turned lips. 

"I know I know. But I'm not saying Nathan's a douche... he's nice. He's really nice. I just... don't know if it needs to be what he wants it to. I mean, a relationship is hardly what I'm looking for."

"Just because you're not looking for it doesn't mean it can't happen. You never went into Charlie's looking for Roger... and look how you two ended up." I clicked my tongue, nodding at the undeniably true statement.

Even years after I could remember the exact moment I met the drummer, the exact smirk he wore and glare he used and drink he ordered. I would still look at his baby blue eyes and like to imagine they would still treasure mine, no matter how far that dream seemed to now be from reality.

"Enough boy chat. I want a coffee." She added, breaking the silence I hadn't even registered to fall in the space between us. "You want the usual yeah ?"

"Please." I nodded, watching with little focus as she left her chair and padded over to the counter, leaving me and my thoughts revolving the polar opposite blonde and brunette alone.

Nathan was nice, and after a couple of very secret dates I couldn't say there was anything about him specifically that would put me off from dating him, but he just wasn't Roger. However Roger was a man I had no chance with ever being with again, his hold on me had never been so empty and cold, leaving his grasp on me he once clenched tightly completely stripped of anything we used to have.

So it was obvious who my attention was bound to be devoted to, and it was gonna be, but I wasn't quite sure it was supposed to be. But Connie had never been so annoyingly right, and there was a fair reason as to why I should follow the path I hadn't been looking to walk down.

"One black coffee for madam." Connie smiled, placing the mug and saucer down in front me that I'd almost forgot I was about to drink, too lost in my thoughts to claim reality in my grasp. "So when are you next seeing Nathan ?"

"Tonight I think. His place..."

"Have you err... you know ?" She giggled, hand prepared to cover her mouth as he cheeks beamed red. My eyes flashed with a slight shock, but they didn't widen for long when I remembered who exactly I was having a conversation with.

"Yes nosey. We have. It was... well it was-"

"Yeah we all know nothing gonna beat Roger when it comes to that field. It's basically he's specialty." We both laughed, nodding as I admitted to her managing to nail the truth on the head.