My Boyfriend Is A Geek ✔️

34: Friendship and dating are two different things

“Hawk?” He echoed.

Dude, I’m asking myself the same thing.

But I didn’t voice that thought. The words that instead left my mouth were: “yeah. I mean, we're still dating and all, and I'd be cheating on him if I were to, you know, kiss you. And I don't want to be the girl who cheats on someone like that.”

That was true though – I did hate cheating. So, that must be the reason why I didn't want to kiss Jason.

Of course, it made absolute sense.

Jason must have thought the same, seeing as he voiced an: “oh.” And a breath later, he was adding, “well, I'm still sorry anyway. I put you in that kind of position despite knowing you have a boyfriend.”

“It's fine,” I mused, somehow managing a smile even though inside, I wanted nothing more than to pull my hair out.

This wasn't heading in the right direction at all. If I continued talking about my boyfriend like this, then that would only discourage Jason from being with me.

I needed to do something to avoid that.

So, I faked a small sigh, making a whole show of ‘nervously’ twisting my hands. “I just don't want to hurt Hawk in any way. Despite what's happening between us, I still wouldn't want to do something that'd hurt his feelings.”

I could see I'd perked his interest with that. And it was made even more evident with his asking: “are you guys having a fight or something?"

“It'd have been better if we were. But it's so much worse.”

I looked down, feigning sadness. However, Jason’s hand on my chin forced me to look back into his eyes, and what I saw there wasn't friendly at all.

“B, has he been hurting you? Because if that's it, I swear I'm going to kill him.”

I struggled to bite back a laugh at that. For one, it would be weird to laugh with Jason talking about killing Hawk. And second, laughing would definitely ruin the whole sad act I was putting on right now.

It’s just, the idea of Hawk hurting me seemed so ridiculous – funny even. Trying to imagine Hawk as someone who'd do that, was absurd to say the least.

But Jason didn't know that. Hence, my saying, “no, of course not. Believe me, it's nothing like that.”

Seeing as he visibly relaxed at that, I took it as my cue to continue. “Actually, I think my relationship with Hawk might have been a misjudgment on our part. After our break up, Hawk was always there for me, you know.”

Well, that wasn't exactly a lie though. And besides, given how Jason nodded slowly in understanding, I seemed to be doing a good job so far. So, I went on.

“Whenever I’m down, he always has a way of saying just the right thing to help me feel better.”

I thought back to that day in my room after the dinner disaster with my dad.

“He just gets me, in a way that not a lot of people are able to. I don’t have to worry about making a fool of myself in front of him, because he doesn't judge me.” My mind wandered to that day at the mall, when I told him about that stupid video with me and Carson, and I felt my lips curl into a smile.

“He's sweet, well in a weird kind of way. And he can honestly be a bit crazy sometimes,” I remarked, chuckling softly. “But he is also funny, and he does like the most unexpected things.” Saying that made me think back to my birthday, and how he got my mom over, and then that dress he got me.