Far from home|KTH

Comfortable

" I don't want to go! I can't do it, I don't know why I ever thought I could ?!", she yelled in pure frustration, her chest raising rapidly from her superficial breaths.

Jin looked at her with concerned eyes, trying to figure out what to say next. Her face radiated pure panic and he had seen that face too often.

" Baby, listen to me. You can and you should. There is no way you could say no to something like this, especially not two days before you're suppose to leave. You just have cold feet, that's all. You will regret it if you don't go", he said reassuringly as he approached her calmly.

He embraced her fragile frame softly, petting her back, the way he had done on numerous occasions before in their 8 year long relationship.

They were just kids when they met. Young adults trying to navigate through life, finding some kind of security in each other. Now they were just comfortable with each other, both of them too tired to look for anything else to be honest. It takes a lot to leave one's best friend, and they truly were each other's best friend. Some people spend a lifetime looking for something like what they have.

"Emma, they would not have asked you if they didn't think you could do it? Right", he asked.

"I know. I'm just scared. I'm not used to being on my own, in a different country , without you. You are always here next to me, supporting me, comforting me. Who am I going to lean on now?", she said quietly and wrapped her arms tighter around his waist.

"I know love, but this is going to be good for you, you just can't see it yet", he assured her in his calm manner as usual.

Panic attacks were something she had suffered from for years, often disturbing her plans and dreams. He was not going to let it this time around.

Of course he was going to miss her, he was just as scared as her to be on his own, but he knew this was going to be healthy for both of them. They had grown together for such a long time he wasn't sure either of them actually knew who they were without the other. They needed to do some growing on their own.

Emma sighed heavily, looking up at him with her big blue bambi eyes. A slow sad smile spread through her face.

" You are always right. Thank you", she said and gave him a soft peck on his lips.

" Of course I am, you should know that by now", he said with a scoff.

"Yeah I guess I should", she replied and hugged him tightly again."How am I going to survive without you holding my hand Jin?".

"Oh, you'll be just fine, trust me. You are stronger than you think", he answered calmly. " Now let's pack those bags of yours".

She nodded quietly.

He was right, she had to take this chance given to her by pure coincidence. There had to be something greater to it, things like this don't just happen. Years of working her ass off in the entertainment industry in Seoul had given her skills that were going to be useful in the US after all.

Management was her area of expertise and one of her clients was going to be launched in the US shortly. At a drunken state at a team dinner she had offered to take on the mission, after all she was familiar with the US market since it was her home. She relocated to Seoul because of Jin 7 years ago.

A part of her thought that she offered to go because she was homesick deep down. That thought had lingered for a while now since that night 6 months ago. She thought that things would change during those months, that the company would change their mind and send someone more senior, but no. Here she was two days before departure having one of her usual emotional break downs. God must really be laughing at her right now, be careful what you wish for had gained a real new meaning.

The team she had been assigned to take with her was at least calming her nerves. It was her best friend at the company, Namjoon, because of his English language skills, Suga, because of his master producer skills, and Vanessa , the PR rockstar of the company.
These people were going to be her only comfort zone in the unknown.

It really was time to spread her wings professionally and get out of her comfort zone, she knew that. She had just avoided it because it was uncomfortable to her, and if she really analysed herself, Jin was always a great excuse to stay exactly where she was. Both emotionally and physically. That truth was hard to swallow.

She fold her clothes carefully and placed them in the bag one by one. What does one even pack for a 6 months trip?

She had no idea and paced the room stressfully, picking things randomly. Her nervous heartbeat made a heat wave flush over her and she anxiously removed her sweater and put her light hair in a messy bun on top of her head.

Jin observed her from the couch where he was hiding behind his computer. His concerned mind wasn't fully concentrating on the numbers on the screen, her restless pacing was disturbing his peace. But then again, anything was more interesting than his finance job right now. Sure, it provided them security, the salary was great, but it wasn't the most exciting thing in the world.

"Emma, do you need some help?", he asked.

" I don't know to be honest. What should I even pack ? Seriously, I have no idea. What's the weather like this time of year in Los Angeles? I forgot...", she replied and scratched her head with a confused expression on her face.

Her phone rang to distract her from her break down.

"Hello ?", she answered.

"Hey, it's me Namjoon. Listen, our flight got moved to tonight. It leaves in 3 hours. Can you make it?", he said in a clearly stressed tone.

"Jesus, are you serious?!", she burst out.

Jin now watched her with great interest from across the room.

"I'm dead serious, hurry up. I will see you at the airport in one hour", he continued in a hurry and hung up.

"Jin, I gotta leave tonight! They moved our flight to 9 pm ", she said as total panic spread across her face.

"Don't worry, we can make it. Most things are packed anyway and if you forget something you can just buy a replacement in the US. Don't worry baby", he said as he hurried to help her with the last.

The car ride to the airport was a quiet event, the tension in the air was noticeably awkward. They thought they still had a day or two before she left but now the moment to part ways was here, neither of them really being prepared for it.

He carried her bags inside the terminal in his usual gentleman manner, following her quick steps to check in.

The rest of the team had just arrived shortly before them.

"Emma !", they yelled with happy excited smiles on their faces. "You made it", Namjoon stated.

She nodded and gave him a hug before she continued to greet the rest of them.

Jin stood there in silence observing her. It was surreal that she wasn't going to come home every night for the next 6 months. Their dates would be online from now on, the time difference complicating things further.

She finally turned to him.

" I guess this is it", she said with a nervous expression on her face.

" I guess so", he replied and hugged her tightly. "Be a good girl now. Enjoy yourself and call me every night, okay? You will be fine", he continued.

" I will, I promise. I will miss you", she said and gave him a soft kiss before she let go of him and hurried after the others.

"I will miss you too, take care", he yelled as he watched her disappear.

His heart sunk. This was definitely a new feeling he wasn't used to, the emptiness was going to be overwhelming.